A Divine Dream, Two Divine Signs, and A Confirmation About Huggabear Farm

The story which I am about to tell you, at least to me, is nothing short of amazing. A very clear message sent from God to myself, my husband and our children. You may not believe what I am about to write and that is okay. I thank you all the same for taking the time to read it. Never-the-less, whether anyone believes this story or not, it is all 100% true.

Before I begin the story I need to explain the reasoning for my writing it today.

In the month of March my oldest child, Aven Salei, turned 18 and my honorary niece Valerie Nerone had come to visit her. During her visit she shared with us the name of an inspiring pastor she had been watching online during the Covid months. His name is Pastor Michael Todd of the Transformation Church in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Our family watched a sermon he gave on the first Sunday of January 2020 and it was all about “Vision”. In the sermon he told us that when God gives you a vision of something that He wants you to do, you need to write it down. I had the idea to write this blog before I heard him say that, but felt more led to get it done after I heard his sermon. Then Easter came and with it our Huggabear Children’s Project work so the blog was delayed.

Then today we watched his sermon that was from the first Sunday of January 2021 called “Anchored” and in it he taught about how God speaks to us. To illustrate his sermon personally, he showed us how God had been speaking something directly to him about the work he was to do for the year 2021 and how God showed him not one, not two, but three clear and direct signs to confirm the work to him.

After seeing that sermon I knew that today would be the day I would write this blog. So, I want to say thank you to Valerie for sharing with us about Pastor Michael Todd, you were being used of God to speak to me and thank you to Pastor Michael Todd for those two powerful and personally significant sermons that you gave. God definitely used you to speak to me as well!

In order for you to have a solid understanding of this amazing story, how powerful God is, and how He can work in a person’s heart, I have to give you a little bit of my history with my homeland.

I was born on August, 26, 1971 in the Maricopa County Hospital in Phoenix, Arizona. I have lived in Phoenix all of my life, which up to now has been 49 years, 8 months and 11 days.

I have always loved Phoenix. I have had the blessing of traveling to many places in this world and always loved coming home to Phoenix. I even loved the heat, well, kind of.

If I am being totally honest, I dreaded the heat. Every year I dreaded it. But I repeated the words of others around me saying things like, “Yes, but it’s a dry heat.” (Which does make sense when you have experienced humidity!) or I would say things like, “You just stay inside and move from air conditioned place to air conditioned place!” or “Our summers are hard but our winters are beautiful!” (Which also is quite true.) Josh felt the exact same way as me and even said the exact same things I did. We both loved Phoenix, Arizona. It was home.

However, as time went by, every year of my life, the summers were killing my love for living in Phoenix… along with all my trees. 😦 This past summer 2020 really did me in.

Then something very peculiar and significant happened. I had a dream.

It was in the month of May 2020. It was the week after Mother’s Day. If you haven’t read it, I wrote a blog about that Mother’s Day and what an incredible day God blessed me with if you would like to read it as well.

The dream was of my family, Josh, Aven, MaCaedyn, Samuel and myself, all standing in a tightly bound circle with our arms wrapped around each other. Outside our circle was another larger circle of people. Some we were close to, some we were not so close to. Not all my relationships were in this circle, just certain ones.

The best way I could describe how this looked is to use the diagram of a nucleus with a ring of electrons around it. My family was the nucleus and all the people standing side by side in a ring around us were the electrons.

In the dream I looked up and I saw that slowly, one by one, those people were being spaced away from our family. Like they were slowly floating backward. As I watched, I saw a giant pair of white glowing hands in-between my family and the outer ring of people and I realized that the hands were separating the people from us, creating distance between us.

When I woke up the next morning, I shared the dream with Josh and my children. I also shared it with a few prayer warrior friends who found it very interesting, yet, none of us understood what it meant.

That was May 2020 and anyone who lives in Phoenix will tell you, the summer heat of Phoenix doesn’t wait until the typical summer months of June, July and August to arrive. It can begin in May… or even April. As I sit outside right now writing this blog April 11, 2020, I’m sweating. Bleh.

After my Mother’s Day 2020 adventure to visit Christopher Creek to escape the heat, my family wanted to have more of that time in the woods and out of the ‘flames’ of Phoenix. We couldn’t afford to take a trip anywhere so we would save up just enough money for gas, then we would pack a picnic and our baseball gear and head up to the woods just for a day. For us, it was thrilling! We were escaping the heat and could spend an entire day outdoors playing in the cool woods without boiling ourselves and burning our skin like we would in Phoenix.

It was during the Covid summer months of 2020 that a significant change began to take place inside my heart and Josh’s. Every morning that we got up to take one of our road trip adventures to the woods we were filled with so much pure joy and we discovered that joy wasn’t just because we wanted to escape the heat, it was because of the land we were going to.

Growing up, my Mema and Papa had three “homes”. One was their Phoenix residence, one was in Payson, Arizona and the other was a cabin that my Papa built out of internment camp sectionals from World War II at Mormon Lake nestled in the Ponderosa Pines.

When I had the blessing of being able to go to the cabin, all through my childhood and into my adult years, I felt something that I didn’t have when I was in Phoenix. It was like I was a different person. I was more peaceful. I slept better at night and had more energy during the day. I breathed in the clean air easy, and as a person who has dealt with asthma since the age of 3 months that is always a welcome relief. In the forest, I loved seeing the blue of the sky, the animals and most of all, the trees. I loved the sounds of the wind blowing through the trees and the crunch of the dry pine needles beneath my feet. I loved the sounds of the birds and forest critters. I also loved the lack of sounds from the city of constant traffic, sirens, and helicopters. I loved how the air smelled of pines as soon as I arrived and stepped out of the car. I loved how bright and brilliant the stars were at night and, most importantly, I loved how I could step outside and get away from man made things and submerge myself in God made things so quickly, so easily. I felt closer to God there. I still love all those things now, even more than when I was young.

When I am in the woods, on the beach, or in any other beautiful place of nature made by God, it cleanses me. My stresses melt away and even when there are circumstances of daily life that must be handled, it just seems so much easier for me when I am a beautiful place of God’s nature. Being out in the open reminds me just how big my Beautiful God is and seeing all He has created leaves me speechless.

Then I had another realization… something that is so obvious to me that I am actually a bit embarrassed to say I didn’t recognized it sooner. I am the author of The Huggabears children’s books. I have created an entire imaginary land called the Bearwood Forest and a town called Bearford Falls where the Huggabear Family and all kinds of other woodland critters dwell. The idea for that book series came from God and the place that He had me create is based upon the woods of the Ponderosa Pines, the very same woods where my Mema would take me on long walks and teach me about the love of Jesus, the power of prayer and God’s Word. I write about the woods in every single story of The Huggabears and my love for it is clearly reflected in all those stories. I realized that deep down inside my heart, the woods have been calling to me for years and years, even through my ministry work. Yet, I still live in the desert.

I came to understand that I am so much happier in the woods, Josh is happier in the woods and so are our children. So why are we living in a city in the desert? Josh began to realize this it too. We came to this understanding at the exact same time and felt the exact same way. When we shared it with one another it was such a powerful, beautiful moment in our marriage. All these years we had shared a great love for living in Phoenix and then, all at once, we both had been changed and everything was different. We longed to lived someplace different.

We began sharing our thoughts about our feelings with the children and wondered what they would think about moving. Well… we wondered what MaCaedyn and Samuel would think about it. All of her life we knew that Aven hated the heat of Phoenix. Detested it. Loathed it. Despised it. All those adjectives would fit into her annual descriptions of her feelings about the summers when the heat came. Though she will admit she does love swimming and waterparks, she always wanted to go and be in the snow and loves being wrapped in warm clothes, fuzzy socks and her treasured sleeping bag. Still, I honestly didn’t know how Samuel and MaCaedyn felt about the heat. So, one day during school I began to share with them what was happening my heart and how daddy and I were feeling like we wanted to live in woods. Both MaCaedyn and Samuel immediately shared that they would love to live in the woods and Samuel was quite specific that we were going to live in Flagstaff. Not that he hoped to live in Flagstaff, not that he wished we would live in Flagstaff, but that we will be living in Flagstaff and that Huggabear Farm would be built there.

They also began to tell me how much they loved being in colder weather. Whenever we took winter trips, they loved bundling up in coats, hats, gloves and boots. It didn’t bother them at all. MaCaedyn said, “You know, in the cold you can always add more clothes, but in the heat you can only get so naked.” Ha! Samuel and Aven also pointed out that we spend so many days stuck inside during the summer so if we moved to a place where there was snow, we might not be able to go out everyday but you can still play in snow whereas you can’t play in heat unless it involved a pool–which we don’t have, or water of some kind.

We also learned during the summer of 2020 that Aven has health issues which arise during the heat which she doesn’t deal with during the cooler months. Josh and I also noticed that we have more pain and inflammation in our bodies during the summer than we do during the cold months. These reasons were added onto the pile of why we wanted to move to the forest.

Once we learned of our family’s feelings about living in Phoenix and the heat we began to pray about it to see what God’s will was for us. We asked very specifically in our prayers that if God wanted us to stay here to use us for His glory in Phoenix, Arizona, then that is exactly what we would do, and we asked Him that if it was not His will for us to move to the woods that He would remove the desire from all of our hearts and that we would be perfectly content to stay and get back to loving the heat. We also asked Him if it is was His will for us to move to woods that He would make that clear to us as well.

Every day we prayed and every day the yearning to move to the forest grew stronger and our desire to stay in Phoenix diminished. It is still that way now. During our family scripture reading almost every night Josh read a chapter that spoke “the land you are going to inherit” or “the land you are going to cross the Jordan to inherit”. I looked it up and there is a tiny little speck of a town that is called Jordan which we would be pass or “cross over” when traveling from Phoenix to Flagstaff. This inspired us even more!

We decided to use our time escaping the heat as time to explore some towns and places to see where it was that would be part of God’s plan for us to live. Samuel thought this a huge waste of time as he knew that we were going to live in Flagstaff. He said it over and over again, “It’s Flagstaff… Flagstaff… Flagstaff… You all are wrong, it’s Flagstaff.” Still, we went and explored and with every place we went, though we had fun together as a family, we also felt it together as a family: NO. This is not the town. This is not the place. I can’t explain it to you other than to say we just felt it in and knew in our hearts it wasn’t the place God had for us.

I hope all of that gives you a greater understanding of where we were and what we were praying for because NOW we get to the really cool part of the story! This is what I was supposed to write down and share with whomever will read it!

When I first began writing The Huggabears books, God gave me a dream of a place where children could come to be ministered to. It was a location that looked like the Bearwood Forest and had the town of Bearford Falls from my Huggabear books. A land full of imagination, joy and the love of Jesus as well as being the home base for The Huggabear Children’s Project, Inc. ministry.

I thought the place was going to be a small children’s amusement park like The Enchanted Island or something, but I could never come up with the right name for it. My vision lacked complete clarity so I just kept creating the stories, the songs, and doing the Huggabear nonprofit work.

When Samuel was a baby he was thrilled with farming. I remember when he was three years old he saw pumpkins in the store and asked me where they came from. I told him about farms and he began planting and growing pumpkins and other vegetables in the backyard. When he was five years old he told me, “Someday, when I grow up, I’m going to have a farm.”

God told me in that very moment the place He gave me a vision of for children was going to be called “Huggabear Farm”! I can tell you right where I was standing when it happened. We had been working in the garden and were coming in the house to wash up. Samuel turned to me and said what he said and I was standing on the patio. I stopped in my tracks as God spoke Huggabear Farm to my heart. After that, the kids and I talked about the dream of Huggabear Farm everyday. We discussed ideas in school, we made drawings and lists, we watched educational videos and we began praying for it to come. This would be a farm like no other the world has ever seen because it would be a ministry farm. It wouldn’t just be about things we grow from the ground, it would be about planting the seeds of the love of Jesus into the hearts of others. A place where all families could come to for free and never have to pay for admission. A place where children would play and make memories. A place that would have the Word of God all though it so that the people who came to visit would be submerged in the teachings and love of God’s Word while they were there. Huggabear Farm would be full of music and laughter. We would put on shows and programs that would teach the love, power, healing and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. It would be a place of education, imagination and salvation. God revealed to me that there are people in this world who might never step inside the doors of a church… but they would visit a farm. While they were there, we would gently plant the seeds of the love of Jesus into their hearts and spirits.

The children and I had a pretty good idea of all the things we should have on Huggabear Farm and when we would talk about it with Josh he always was very supportive, but I could tell he hadn’t seen the vision for it yet. So I prayed for him and asked God, if this was something that our family was meant to build together, please give Josh the vision for it because there was no way I could ever build it without him.

God answered that prayer while we were housesitting for our friends John and Gerry Dillingham. They live on a golf course and each night we would walk outside and be in the beauty of the green course with all the trees and landscaping. Then we would come inside and the kids and I would sit and draw plans for the farm. It was in the open space of the golf course that God gave Josh the vision. He saw it clearly before him and I knew it was God that did it and not us because after Josh saw the vision of it, that was all he could talk about!

We decided to take a step of faith and start building what we could where we lived. We knew it couldn’t be much as we have a small home and yards, but we were going to do the best we could with what we have. We began building in the summer of 2018 and we had the majority of it finished by that fall 2018. We wanted to show God how serious we were about doing this and prove to Him that He could trust us if He provided us the land and the funds, we would build the real Huggabear Farm. But for that time, we were thrilled to have the mini farm.

We began having events for children of all ages, from infants and toddlers to teens and young adults. We had an opening day celebration, two pumpkin parties, a “Boo Bash” teen party with home made haunted house, two Christmas parties, a few birthday parties for our kids and an Easter egg hunt… then came Covid. We had to stop holding events at home, but we have never stopped working, building, improving, planning, designing and adding to the “Mini” Huggabear Farm.

Before our hearts changed about having the farm in Phoenix, we had looked at land all over the place! Anywhere we saw land for sale that looked like a nice parcel, we would visit it, pray over it and ask God to reveal His will. We didn’t and still don’t have one dime to build this farm but that doesn’t worry or detract us in anyway at all. We know God does and He would supply the needs! As God changed our hearts about the farm being in Phoenix, He began showing us that we could never do all that we wanted to during the summer months. It is just too darn hot! And for us, summer was a very important time because kids were out of school and looking for things to do.

I went back and forth on that for several months. Should we stay here in Phoenix where there are so many kids in need? How would they get to us if we were someplace far away? I was praying about this while watering the garden one evening and I asked God that very question, “How would the children be able to afford to drive up to us if they are children in need?” Immediately I heard that ever familiar whisper inside my head, “Do you really think I can’t get the children to you?”

Talk about humble! Boy did I feast on humble pie that night! I went in and told Josh and from that night on, I haven’t worried one bit about the location and whether or not children could come to us. Wherever it is God places us, He will make a way for the children to get there.

We knew so many things that Huggabear Farm would have on it and that it would be a place where Samuel could grow pumpkins, but we knew he didn’t want to sell the pumpkins, he wanted to give them away to children. So the question kept coming to our minds, “What would we grow and sell on Huggabear Farm to help support it so we could keep admission free?”

We wondered about apples or pecans trees. We even planted ten pecan seeds to grow saplings. Not one of them sprouted. So we kept praying. We knew that God would reveal to us what He wanted us to grow to sell so we could support the farm and our family.

No to the amazing part of the story! Not that all that wasn’t amazing, but this is pretty cool!

One day in the year 2017, I was in Hobby Lobby buying some items for a new Huggabear book and I saw an old fashioned red truck. Now, if you don’t know about The Huggabear books, I create all of the illustrations for the stories with my family by building miniaturized scenes that I photograph. If you have never seen the Huggabears, you can visit our website at: huggabears.org to see what they look like.

The red truck that I saw at Hobby Lobby was perfect for Daddy bear to have as a work truck. It was the exact size I needed and looked like it would be a perfect fit for Daddy Huggabear to get in. It wasn’t fancy, just a plain red truck. The only problem was it cost $70 which was far more than I could afford at that time and, oddly enough, I didn’t know about the 40% coupons on their app.

Now, if you go to Hobby Lobby on a regular basis you know that eventually everything in that store gets marked down, but I never saw these red trucks get marked down. Never.

Then one day I went and they were all gone. I was disappointed but I thought, if God wants me to have a red truck for Daddy Huggabear, they will bring them back and He will provide the funds for it.

Two years passed by, it was now 2019. I went into Hobby Lobby and they had red trucks! They were a little different as they were a little bit smaller and they had a cute Christmas tree mounted in the back, but I checked the price and they were on sale! Only $25! MaCaedyn and I scooped one up and happily brought it home to show the rest of the family who all loved it.

I didn’t really pay a lot of attention to the outside of the truck itself. My main concern was whether or not Daddy Huggabear would fit inside and when I measure the windows and saw he would I was so happy! I gave thanks to God for making that purchase happen for the Huggabear Family. I knew I wasn’t going to be creating a book where Daddy Huggabear would drive the truck for a while, so I placed it in our workshop with some of my other story set props and went on my way.

Fast forward another full year. We are now in the year 2020.

I was working on my latest Huggabear book “The Ooky-Spooky, Creaky, Creepy, Scary Old House on Hallow’s Hill” which I released on October 31, 2020. This story doesn’t have Daddy Huggabear’s truck in it, but I was working around all of my story set props while creating it.

One day, I went out to get something from the workshop (or as Josh calls it the Huggarage) and I happened to look at the red truck as I passed by. I smiled and said, “Thank You again God for that truck.”

And then God said to me, “Go back and read what is on it.” I stopped in my tracks.

I didn’t hear an audible voice like when you or I speak. It was like a whisper in my brain. People who haven’t had this experience won’t understand that but for those who have had it, you will understand. The words were strong and clear. I have had this kind of experience before and I knew it was God, so I immediately turned around and went back to the truck. I pulled it out from it’s storage space and looked at it.

When I bought it, I had seen the Christmas tree, but was so focused upon the size of the window, the driver’s seat and steering wheel to make sure Daddy Huggabear would fit, I didn’t pay any attention to the side of the truck which had Christmas trees on it and read: “Farm Fresh Christmas Trees Fir, Spruce, Pine, Cedar”. I read the words aloud and after I did, God spoke to me again and said, “This is what Huggabear Farm will be. Christmas trees and Pumpkins.”

Of course! We could grow and sell Christmas trees to support the farm!

I grabbed hold of the truck and ran into the house! I was so excited and couldn’t wait to share with my family what God had just told me about Huggabear Farm… but everyone was on a device– some with headsets on and didn’t want to stop to listen to what I had to say. So I just took the truck back into the workshop and placed it back on the shelf and kept the Word from the Lord inside my heart.

That was in October 2020.

Time past and one day in November 2020, Josh went to do some grocery shopping for me. We have a game in our household that we love to play about staying on the budget. Whenever one of us goes shopping, we head out with our list in hand and usually come home bragging about how we stayed totally on budget or even came in under it. But this day Josh came home very excited and said, “I went $15 over budget today, but I had to get you something!”

I was excited to see what it was that made him so excited. “I saw these little Christmas barns for sale, and I started to get you one, but when I saw this, I just had to get it for you,” he said happily.

As he pulled the gift out of the bag it wasn’t just excitement that washed over me, it was the power of the Holy Spirit. Immediately, I clasped my hands over my mouth and stared at it in amazement.

“It’s a Christmas tree Farm!” he said with joy.

He had bought me a small, porcelain, light up, Christmas tree Farm that read at the top: “Farm Fresh Christmas Trees Fir, Spruce, Pine, Cedar”.

For a moment I could hardly speak or even breath as I knew that God was now speaking to Josh what He had spoken to me. Both items said the exact same thing, yet one was purchased by myself over a year ago at one location and the other was purchased by Josh at another. It was incredible!

I started jumping up and down and ran into the workshop to get the truck and began rattling off the story of how God had spoke to me that Huggabear Farm would be a Christmas tree farm. Josh and the kids listened intently and were astounded at the story and the two items which we clearly understood to be signs from God before us. I remember Josh saying, “I bet this is one time you are thankful that none of us listened to you! If we had, it wouldn’t make this so incredible!”

MaCaedyn told me that she actually had heard me tell my story so she knew that God had spoken to me first!

But Josh was right. If he had heard my story, then this sign wouldn’t really be a sign from God but just something that Josh did out of love and kindness. Josh NOT knowing my story and what God had shown me made it so much more powerful!

Right then and there we decided that we believed both of these things were signs from God and we also came to understand that the dream I had where the people were being distanced from us was also God communicating to us that we were going to be moving somewhere else. Somewhere other than Phoenix and that distance was going to be coming between us and the faces around us which were being moved back.

We decided that we were not going to tell a soul about what had happened with the two signs, but instead, we were going to pray nightly as a family for God to send us a third confirmation that Huggabear Farm was going to be a Christmas tree and pumpkin farm. We know God works in threes and we just wanted to make sure beyond a shadow of a doubt that what we were experiencing was communication from God, just like Gideon did in the book of Judges with the fleece. (Judges 6:33-40)

So we prayed and asked that God would send a third confirmation from someone outside of our family unit. It could be anyone and in anyway, from a relative, a friend or even better– total stranger! No one had ever said this to us before so we knew that if someone said it to us now it would be a clear confirmation. They could have had a vision, a dream, an idea, or whatever! However God wanted to give it to us, we asked that He could give us that third confirmation that Huggabear Farm would be a Christmas tree and pumpkin farm.

My family was so excited! We all love Christmas trees so much and use them to teach children about the everlasting love of Jesus just like the ancient German missionaries of the past did in the pagan regions. I even wrote a lesson about this from my character of Obadiah in my third Intercessors book “Confession”. In fact, part of our Huggabear work at Christmastime is to give Christmas trees to families in need so that their children can enjoy having a tree on Christmas day. The more we thought about it the more it made perfect sense! How could we not see this before? It was the perfect crop for Huggabear Farm! After all, bears live in the forest, we wanted to live in the forest and Christmas trees are something that could make a profit to support the farm every year! In my Huggabear books I never had given Daddy Huggabear a job, now I could! He would grow Christmas trees! It was all perfect!

Everyday we would spend time talking about it and everyday we went shopping we were surrounded by it! I have seen cute Christmas decorations that had a truck with a Christmas tree on it and say “Merry Christmas” in the past, but in the year 2020 they didn’t just say “Merry Christmas”. Everywhere it would say, “Christmas Tree Farm”!!!! It was in every store, everywhere we went! Then I had a wake up call, which again is embarrassing to admit I didn’t notice sooner… we keep Christmas trees up year round in and outside our house! Just little ones, but we decorate them for each holiday and we have two inside our home year round and FIVE outside on our patio year round! I also have three growing in our front yard! I used to have 7 but each summer the heat kills another one! (Boooo! Hissss!)

But still! Seeing all this was like that scene in the movie “I Can Only Imagine”. The writer of that song had been writing that phrase all around him for years and he didn’t see it until the time was right. And the time was God’s time. We were now seeing how God had been speaking this to us and preparing us for this for years! Which just added to our joy!!!

All of this excitement compiled with their dreams of experiencing a White Christmas (which is one of our holiday movie favorites) inspired the children to want to spend Christmas in the snow. They didn’t want to leave our home on Christmas Eve, they wanted to have dinner and our traditional events and our traditional Christmas morning but then they wanted to be packed and ready so that we could all–pups included, jump into the Huggamobile and head for the woods! And there was only one place they wanted to go: Flagstaff, naturally.

After weeks of searching, God led Josh to find the most darling cabin for rent where we could take the dogs. After opening gifts and having some breakfast, we headed for the glories of the forest in Flagstaff! There wasn’t much snow, but that didn’t stop us from having an incredible time! Our children were so happy. They said it had been one of the best Christmases of their lives– outside of Christmas at Disneyland of course. 😉 God blessed us so richly and we enjoyed every single minute of that trip!

A few days after we came home, I went outside and called my friend Gerry who couldn’t wait to hear all about our holiday and I about hers. After I had told her about our trip I said, “We all love it up there so much. It is such a great town! We also went to Williams because we love it there too! In Flagstaff we have all that we need up there as far as city needs go, even a university, but then a few minutes out, you are in the thick of the woods.” I conveyed how much we all want to live there–even the little dogs! They loved it! Reblen, who usually spends her days resting on our chaise was outside running and playing everyday. She was the first one out the door!

After a while of sharing how much we love it there and how we are begging God to let us move there if it is His will, Gerry said, “Angelique! Huggabear Farm should grow Christmas trees and pumpkins! It could be a Christmas tree and pumpkin farm!”

As soon as the words came out of her mouth I jumped up off my seat, ran to the house and started yelling in the door, “Gerry said it! Gerry said it! She said Huggabear Farm should grow Christmas trees and pumpkins!!”

My family was ecstatic! Poor Gerry probably thought I had gone crazy! I took the time to explain everything to her about what we had been praying for and when I did she too was amazed! God used my friend of so many years, to give us our third confirmation: Huggabear Farm will grow Christmas trees and pumpkins amidst lots and LOTS of love, joy and imagination!

We would love for it to be in Flagstaff because we have fallen in love with the town–and we love Williams and the Historic Route 66! But does the Huggabear Farm have to be in Flagstaff? No. That is a place we love and the forest I have known all my life. But we all agree, we want God’s perfect will to be fulfilled. Because when it is, wherever He leads us, it will be absolutely, totally and completely perfect! We are placing none of our limits on God’s plan because we know, He knows best. Our prayer right now is, “Lead us Lord, we will follow!”

There even came a great change in my heart about my dream home. I had always hoped to have a home of my own someday, something that reflected our family with enough space for us all to be together and have places of our own as well. We would call it Huggabear House. I, sad to say, had placed another limitation on God where that dream home was concerned. I wanted it to be single story with no stairs, but even that desire began to change in my heart. I would take whatever home God wanted me to have, stairs and all, and if it was an old home that needed love and restoration, we would do that too.

God had transformed my heart during the year 2020 where this dream was concerned and I am so glad that He did because I understand that He has plans for me, my family, and our ministry work that far surpass anything that I could ever hope or imagine. I want God’s perfect will to be done in my life over my own will for I know He knows best, after all… He created me.

So that’s my amazing story! Some people may read this and not be impressed. They may say it is all just one big coincidence. But we know better. We know that there is no word in the Hebrew language that means coincidence. It is all God! And we know that He spoke to us direct three times. Once with a toy truck. Once with a porcelain Christmas decoration and once through a faithful, Jesus loving friend. He also spoke to me many times through my dreams!

The month is now April and we still haven’t heard from God about when or where He wants us to move. But He has given us work to do in the meantime while we wait on His perfect timing and plan. We took a little missions trip on Easter Sunday to do some Huggabear work for the homeless in Flagstaff, enjoyed a trek through the woods, had a picnic and even made a snowbear! There was no snow where we were on Christmas but we were blessed with a little on Easter! Samuel declared that we were the only people in the history of the world to create a snowbear and snow bearpaw on Easter Sunday!

We are still waiting on God and I admit it is hard sometimes in the waiting, especially when you are so excited to go and do something you know you are meant to do. It makes me think of Abraham and Sarah who had to wait 25 years for God to fulfill His promise that one day they would have a son. My waiting is much easier because I have my beautiful family waiting with me and while we wait together we are loving each other, praying together and seeking God’s perfect will for our future place of ministry.

I encourage you as Pastor Michael Todd encouraged me, if God has given you a vision for a work that you are to do, write it down! Share it with others so that when God brings that vision to fruition, not only you, but all you shared it with will know that God always keep His promises, He does speak to people, He has never changed and He is still able to perform miracles!

Oh yes, and Samuel wants me to make sure that everyone knows that he knew first that it was Flagstaff… just in case it really is Flagstaff!

“I Am a Lady Who Loves Pink” A Love Letter to My Daughters About Celebrating Women

Dear Aven, MaCaedyn and any other Girls and Ladies who take the time to read this letter of love, encouragement and celebration.

This coming Monday, March 8, 2021 has been marked as a day to celebrate women. I have had the idea for this letter hidden in my heart for a few years now and when I learned of the upcoming celebration date I thought it was the perfect opportunity to put down in words what has been unspoken in my heart.

My girls, I have always taught you that you were capable of doing anything you put your mind to. I have always taught you that walking with Jesus and developing a strong relationship with Him in prayer, spending time in God’s Word and always putting God first is how you will live your very best life and I have taught you dozens of other lessons as well about a variety of subjects. But today, I want to talk to you about what I believe it is to be a woman. What I strive for as a woman.

In our world today there have been many advances where women are concerned. I have had the privilege as your homeschool mama to teach you and your brother about the amazing women history holds who have taken stands for themselves and for others, stands like fighting for the right to vote, a victory that we are still blessed with today. I have taught you about women of strength and perseverance who joined together to raise their voices for positive change so that you could recognize that you have those same qualities inside of you and there will be times in your life when you will be able to use those qualities to bring positive changes for yourselves and others in the world.

As you know, there is still progress to be made in women’s rights for fair, respectable treatment in workplaces, equal opportunities, equal pay and to stop being disrespected, treated inappropriately or degraded in anyway especially where physical appearance or sex was concerned. I am proud of the advances that have been made and I believe there will be more positive advances to come. While there is still much work to be done I have great hope that things will only get better, day by day, year by year, generation after generation.

Woman have always worked and fought so hard to accomplish their dreams all while having restraints put upon them because of their sex, their age, their appearance, their race or because others placed limits upon what they thought women were capable of doing. Women were not always appreciated for their hard work and contributions. Women were not always listened to or allowed to lead, though we always have been worth listening to and we make excellent, strong, intelligent leaders. But those days, I believe are falling farther and farther behind us, and someday they will be left altogether in the dust and memories of the past.
I say again, there have been great changes made and I have great hope for more positive changes yet to come in the days ahead.

The reason why I wanted to write this letter is because within the positive changes for women, I feel it is important that we as women, have the understanding that we should not have to change or redefine who we are as a species. We should not have to change how we function to gain equality. The word ‘feminine’ should not ever be viewed as or thought upon as weak or inferior. Because the fact is, quite the opposite is true. While the word ‘Feminism’ is defined as the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes, I don’t want you to lose the meaning of ‘femininity’ which is defined as qualities or attributes regarded as characteristic of women. Because it is the femininity of women that helps to fill this world with love, grace and beauty. Qualities that the will world needs now and will always need in the future. Femininity is not something that should be altered, but celebrated in all facets of its definitions and true descriptions.

Yes, in the past, femininity was portrayed as being dainty, soft spoken, gentile, graceful… and also at times it was viewed as being someone lesser, helpless, weak, incapable and ignorant. The world is finally waking up to understand that degrading words like helpless, weak, lesser, incapable and ignorant are words that should never be associated with women. Never.
As long as you are listening you are learning, and the more you learn the greater your understanding and your compassion and love can grow and reach into the hearts of others. These are powerful traits that you will able to use in the future. And, there is something else extremely significant that I wanted to convey to you about women which I feel is of great importance to address with you.

The other day your brother, Samuel, read me a meme that he saw posted on the internet. It read:

1st wave of Feminism: “We don’t like men”
2nd wave of Feminism: “We don’t need men”
3rd wave of Feminism: “We are men”

Of course, this meme was meant as a joke of satire and of course it is not an accurate view of most of the women who strive for equality. Still, it gave me a moment of pause to think. Is that how some see this movement? Is that the goal of some women for this movement? Are there men in the world who think all women don’t like men? That woman just want to rid the world of men or that we want to become just like men and replace them?
That is not what is in my heart, my mind, or my work. That is not what I represent, it is not my goal or what I want to pass along to my girls or anyone else.

I have enough sense to know that you cannot measure the entire history men based upon the actions, words and choices of some… well, let’s say many. I say that because in my life, I have been blessed to know so many wonderful men in this world. I was raised with a wonderful grandfather in my life, I am married to a wonderful man and I am raising a wonderful son. I have never seen or heard anything out of them that has been degrading, chauvinistic, or reflecting that women are less than men. All of them always supported me, believed in me, encouraged me, loved me and never placed limits upon me, my abilities or even my imagination. This is the reason that I believe a great change is coming for men of the world and I am grateful for it! I know that women have been teaching their boys at home for years about how to treat women. But is has been the examples of the men in those boys lives that didn’t teach them well. I see that is changing. There are boys today who are being raised differently at home by the male examples in their lives, they are being taught differently in schools about girls, who they are, what they can do, and how they should be treated. There are many boys and young men today who are not learning the old ways of thinking about women and treating women like what was once done in the past. As the years pass, these generations will keep teaching their children and so on and so on. And the positive changes will increase.

There are many men today who believe in the change for women and have joined the fight for our equality. This gives me great hope! As the generations continue on I believe things will become so balanced between men and women that the fight for women’s rights and equality will be taught in the history classes of how things used to be and boys will shake their heads and think, “Why would anyone ever want to treat a girl or a women like that?”. I believe that day is possible and I believe it will come. So it is important for you to know that I would definitely not place myself in a category as being a feminist that believes women should replace men and take over the world. God made us all. The book of Genesis (2:4-25) teaches us that God man woman for man to be his helpmate, so together they could create new life and to help one another in the life that He gave them. God made Eve from the rib of Adam. God made woman from man. Women and men were made for each other, we need each other. In Genesis 2:23 Adam says, “Bone of my bone, flesh of my flesh, she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” There is nothing that says woman is lesser than man. No. Woman came from man, and those who are married are to become one. Not one in charge of the other, or one who serves the other. We are joined together. Bound. Balanced and equal. So do not look at all men as your enemy, or someone that you wish to rid the world of, try to become or dominate over. Men, guys, boys, are not your enemy. It is the old methods, teachings, and ways of demeaning women which you are against. But as long as we keep teaching children the right ways of how women should be treated, I believe those old ways will fade away. And good riddance to them!

I know that I teach you everyday about the love of God and the importance of putting Him first in your life. I want to share once again my hopes that you will embrace all of the God given qualities that women posses. I feel that there are many different messages out there that come along with what being a woman is, so I felt it important to give you mine. Now I am a Jesus Girl and I know you all have had personal experiences with the miracles that only Jesus could do, so I will begin with prayer. As you know, I gave my heart to Jesus when I was seven years old and I have tried to serve Him all of my days. I am not perfect and I never will be. I will make my mistakes and you will make yours, which is one of the many reasons I love Jesus so much. His grace, mercy and forgiveness are constantly present. I have learned that to take everything and anything to God in prayer is how I can find peace, direction, healing, wisdom, strength, compassion, kindness, love… the list goes on and on. The blessings that God pours out on those who love Him, serve Him and try to obey His commands are never ending. Yes, there will come trials in your life, but Jesus has promised to be with you everyday every step of the way. He will never leave you, He will never forsake you. Putting your faith, trust and love in Jesus will be the best decision you ever make in your life. Prayer is a powerful thing. It is supernatural. When you pray you are spending time with not only your Creator but the Creator of every universe and all that they contain. Who wouldn’t want to have that kind of power in their life? I know I have taught you many lessons on God the Father, Jesus His Son, and the Holy Spirit all the days of your lives. My hope it that you will find and build your own personal relationship with Jesus so that you too can experience His amazing love and awesome presence. He is real. Don’t ever let anyone tell you He is not. I believe my relationship with Jesus Christ is what makes me the woman I am and I am thankful for every single day I have walked with Him. Most of the great Prayer Warriors I have known in my life, were women because women are emotional beings their compassion for others tends to drive their prayer life. I want to be a strong praying woman and one of those prayers is that you will do the same.

I would like to give you a little insight about some other aspects of womanhood that are special and bring other kinds of beauty into the world. So let’s talk about clothes! I want you to know that women do not have to dress like men to have equality with men.
If a woman loves to look beautiful, then she should! She should dress in the fashion, style and colors that make her feel beautiful, give her confidence, will earn respect from others and most importantly, will represent her relationship with God. If she likes hats or handbags, gloves, perfume, scarfs and bracelets, whatever it is that a woman enjoys wearing to feel beautiful, she should be able to wear it and not looked upon as if she is weak or less than or, even worse, that she is not fighting for equality because she likes to look pretty or delicate. And if one of the colors that she likes to wear is pink, then she should wear pink! In the past, there were never any issues with girls or ladies wearing pink, but from time to time I hear from present generations that it is now avoided because it is a “stereotypical” color. Well… I still love pink! (Though my favorite color is forest green.) I have no problem wearing pink and I do not see it as a sign of weakness, I see it as a lovely, peaceful, happy color that represents beauty.

Pink is in the beauty in the flowers that grow all around us, pink is in the beauty of the rosy cheeks of a smiling child, pink is in the beauty of the clouds of the setting sun. Pink is all around us and is reflected in things which are beautiful, it is not a color that represents something lesser than or weak. It was chosen as a color for little girls to represent their grace, their beauty and their love and that is something we should celebrate and not be ashamed of or remove. If you don’t like the color then don’t choose it, but if you do, don’t be afraid to wear pink or other things which look feminine. If that is what you like embrace it! If you like lace, wear lace! If you like perfume and pearls, wear them! If you enjoy high heels and silk stockings, lovely! Don’t feel that you have to wear these things, but if it is something that brings you joy, don’t let the influences of those who may say wearing “frilly” or “girls” things doesn’t represent a strong woman. Being “girly” is a wonderful quality and what this equality movement is all about. We are fighting for equality with men, not to dress, look or become them. Be proud to be girly, because the world needs the beauty of girly things!

Now, I would like to write about strength. Do not ever let anyone tell you that women are not strong. Do not ever believe that you are not strong, though there will come tests in the world which at times will make you doubt it. Always know, you are a woman of strength just because you are a woman. While there may be some instances where physical strength is not always an exact match with men, as there are some men in the world that reach heights, weights and physical power that most women never will. Take Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson for example, let’s be realistic, there are probably not too many women in the world who could match his physical strength… but really, who needs to? One Rock in the world is good enough.

It is important to keep in mind that God made men and women with different physical traits for specific reasons and the measurement of strength should not always lie within the boundaries of height, weight and physical power. God made women so strong in so many ways that men are not. Only women can take on the challenges and changes of pregnancy and only women can withstand child baring and nursing. That takes incredible strength and selflessness… which is also a strength. Women are the givers of life and we should always be the protectors of life. Women are strong in ways that men will never understand because they cannot do things we can. So it is important that you never think you have be able to bench press the same weight as a man, or have all the physical power some men have just to be considered strong. Just look back on the history of all the trials women have endured through the years proves we are strong and mighty.

God not only gave woman outer beauty in our hair, faces and bodies, (which, let’s be honest really are superior when it comes to beauty!) God also created a brilliant, powerful and vital inner beauty that is a great treasure in this world. It is the inner beauty that we pour out into the people, places and critters of this world. By nature, most women are nurturers. This is not to say that men cannot love or nurture, I know they absolutely can and do. It is just different– and it is not just because men cannot carry children within their bodies. There are millions of women in the world who have not had the experience of pregnancy or even raising a child, but that doesn’t make them any less able to demonstrate the delicate yet powerful and impacting nurturing behaviors that only women posses. For most women, it is innate. It is how God made us. We all know that women are creatures of emotion and many of us know how to express those emotions openly and freely… sometimes that is a good thing and at other times it is loud thing. But overall, as I mentioned before, it is our love and compassion that give women a tenderness to their hearts and without that tenderness the world would be a very different, sad and hard place to live.

Our femininity pulls on our hearts to love freely, to show mercy, to give compassion, and care for the needs of others. Of course men are capable of doing all these things too, and when looking at the bottom line I’m sure they learned to do those things from the women in their lives.

It is so important that you also remember if you chose not to work a job but want to stay home with your children to care for them and your home and husband, that does not mean you are not successful! It also does not mean that you are setting the feminist movement back! A woman who chooses to stay home and raise her children is not displaying weakness but courage! It does not mean that you are not joining the movement for equality either. I have worked in places for money outside the home and I have spent sixteen years working without money inside the home. I can tell you, it is all work and it is all challenging and while I may not be receiving a paycheck, I am content knowing the work I am doing brings me greater blessings and more satisfaction than any paycheck I could receive. But that’s me and how I feel about it. So I also feel it is important to state that there is nothing wrong with you choosing to work a job outside of your home. Your children will not feel like you love them any less and it will bring your family health and harmony when you are fulfilling the calling of your life. Whatever it is that God has designed you to do, when you do it you are filled with joy and contentment and that will bring great joy to your family. Most people will agree, when mama ain’t happy no one is happy! So strive for your dreams! All of them! Whether that means your work is your home, you work from home or you work outside the home. When you follow after Jesus and the plans that God has for your life, He will help you every step of the way!

I would consider myself to be old fashioned in somethings. I love old music, I love the fashion styles of the older times, the clothes, the cars, the house architecture and there are some characteristics of being old fashioned that are excellent. Taking time to create things with your hands, home cooked meals, baking, crafts, making clothes, playing board games, and yard games like croquet, going on a picnic or sitting on a porch and watching the sunset, listening to big band swing and jazz. I love some black and white movies and the golden days of musicals. But there are many things of the old days that I do not like. The inequality of women being one and the wickedness of racism being another. So I would have to say I would be considered a woman of the age with sentiments for positive old fashioned things. I know you all appreciate the older things of style and music as well. Just make sure that when you look at the old days you remember to look at all of it. Look at the hard parts of history like racism and the treatment of woman and children and learn from other people’s mistakes. Look at the things which bother you and make sure that you set your mind to helping bring positive changes to those places. It is very important to learn the truth about our history, the good and the bad. It should not be forgotten so we don’t make the same mistakes and let history repeat itself! Learn from the past and work hard to do better in the future.

There are many other examples of behaviors between men and women that I could write about, but I find that learning some of those things as you walk along your life’s journey are good to discover. I just want you to understand all the truths of what goes into the making of a wonderful, beautiful, strong woman. Another important area I work on daily in my life is to practice using and producing the Fruits of the Spirit found in Galatians 5:22-23 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
A woman who gives love will receive love and teach others how to love. In doing so, she will change the world one heart at a time. Love remembers to do as Jesus said and “love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:39.
A woman who displays joy will bring joy to others and the power of joy is healing to one’s spirit. Our world needs JOY!
A woman who seeks peace in her life will be slow to anger, and will create peaceful atmospheres for others to dwell in.
A woman who is patient is one of the strongest women alive. Patience is not something instantly granted. It is practiced on a daily basis. Patience also listens to the hearts, thoughts, experiences and needs of others. Patience can expand our paradigms of understanding.
A woman who is kind will be highly respected and honored by those who have received her kindness. Kindness is a powerful feminine trait and also must be practiced on a daily basis, kindness is to put yourself aside and tend to the needs of others. Kindness lets others see that they are valued and important.
Goodness. A woman who is good and does what is right will not only be blessed by God but by those around her. The goodness she pours into the world will grow more goodness and so it goes. Goodness gives. Be good to others, always, and you will live a rich, full life.
A woman who shows faithfulness is a force to be reckoned with. Faithfulness to her God will empower and enrich her. Faithfulness to her husband will bring her blessings of joy and love. Faithfulness to her children will seat her in high places because they will have lived a life full of nurturing, powerful, protecting love. Always be faithful to your children, protect them and show them loyalty, for if a child, young or old, cannot find complete loyalty from their own mother, where else in this world will they find it?
A woman who can show gentleness to others is never weak. Gentleness springs forth compassion. Showing gentleness and kindness to others, especially those who would persecute you takes some of the greatest strength known to mankind. Not strength of muscles, matter or mind, but strength of the heart.
And last, but certainly not least, a woman who possesses self-control is the strongest of all woman because she will have the discipline within herself to demonstrate on a daily basis all of the fruits of the spirit. Even when she might not receive back what she has given, even when her demonstrations seems to go unnoticed by people, they are never unnoticed by God. Stand up for the things you believe in, and when you take those stands, always remember whom you represent. People should hear and see Jesus in you when you take those stands and God will bless your cause when you represent Him and Your Word well. When a woman works to set her mind, words, heart and steps in the Word of God and seeks to please Him daily, great, oh so great will be her reward!

It is also very important that you understand and always, always remember, there is no perfect woman. There is no perfect person. There never was and there will never will be a human that is perfect. We all make mistakes. We all have our flaws, which is why we can be so thankful for the grace and forgiveness of Jesus Christ. The only perfection that we can look at as an example was that of Jesus Christ. I don’t care what Don Lemmon and Chris Cuomo say, Jesus Christ was a perfect human… and He was the Son of God. We are children of God so we can look to Jesus’ example to follow, but we will never be perfect as long as we are here on this earth with flesh and bone. you can strive to do better each day, but there will come moments of this flesh that will inevitably happen. So do not put that kind of pressure on yourself. You will never be a perfect woman. You will never be a perfect wife and you will never be a perfect mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, whatever the role. You are a human and humans make mistakes. Again, thank You, Jesus for forgiveness! So keep yourself grounded. Stay humble. Walk humbly. Never brag or boast on yourself but remember Proverbs 27:2 “Let another praise you and not your own lips.”. Be willing to admit when you have done something wrong and be sure to apologize in a manner that takes ownership of your actions. Don’t say, “I’m sorry if I hurt you” or “I’m sorry you are hurt.” . That doesn’t take ownership, it puts the responsibility back on the other person. Own your mistakes when you make them, repent of them before the Lord and the person and ask for forgiveness. When you know you have done wrong tell people “I’m sorry I hurt you,” or “I’m sorry I did that.” There may be times when someone accuses you and you honestly don’t know what you have done. I found when I sincerely apologize, even in those circumstances, it might not change the person accusing you, but it will release you from the accusation. Whatever the apology that may be needed when the occasion arises–and those occasions will rise, do as the Lord commands and you will please God. You both have heard me apologize to you dozens of times through the years because of things I said or did which I shouldn’t have. I get up each day striving to do better, but I am sure that there will be more apologies I will have to make in the future. So always keep humility inside your heart and do not let pride and arrogance cloud your mind and judgement so that you think you don’t need to tell people you are sorry when you need to. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goes before destruction and a proud spirit before a fall.” Don’t allow pride and arrogance into your heart. Instead, cling to honesty and humility are signs of strength not weakness.

Which leads me to my next subject… honesty. Don’t engage in lying. God hates lying and so do people. Proverbs 6:16-19 says, “There are six things the Lord hatesseven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.” Live in and speak reality and do your research on things you hear in the world so that you speak things that you know are absolute truth. Don’t get caught up in or repeat conspiracy theories. If you don’t speak things that are absolute truth, how will anyone ever believe you about the love and everlasting life of Jesus or anything you try to teach them about God’s Word? We are to always share the love of Jesus with others and let our light shine in this world to represent Him well, so if you don’t speak things which are absolute truth, you make it very difficult for people to believe you about the Gospel of Jesus or for anything else for that matter. Lying also breeds lying and if your children hear you doing it, they will learn to lie from you. Stay humble and stay honest. Strong women who have successful, healthy, happy relationships are truthful women. After all, everything in this world can be taken from you, but your word lives on, even beyond your own life.

I have learned that a truly peaceful women doesn’t get involved in other people’s dramas and repeat it to others as gossip. It is one thing if a friend or family members comes to you with a personal experience that they truly need help with and may ask prayer for. If that happens, listen with respect and compassion and pray, sincerely pray for them and the matter, but don’t repeat and spread it to others. Try to be a safe place for those who may need you. But if there is a situation that doesn’t involve you, stay out of it and if it will hurt another, don’t repeat it but go to prayer for it. Also, don’t look at other women and be envious. Celebrate their abilities, their accomplishments and their beauty! Know that God made you to be and do exactly as He wants you to be and do. Don’t let others intimidate you and don’t be intimidating to others. Be inclusive not exclusive. Be encouraging not discouraging. Lift others up, never tear someone down. And if there are those you come across in life who are envious of you, just know that their envy is not something you can change. That is a matter of the heart and only God can change a heart. Be kind to them and don’t treat them poorly, pray for the situation, but understand that there are some people who come into your life who won’t be able to handle you as you are. They may want you to be “watered down” so that they can handle you. I have learned this lesson in my years of life and I did try to please some of these people and hide things I could do so they wouldn’t be envious or intimidated. But God showed me that when I did that, when I wasn’t living up to all that I know I am to be and doing all that I know God made me to do, I was displeasing Him. I learned a most valuable lesson: always strive to please God first and you will lead your best life. There are just going to be some people you come across whom you will never please. Leave them with the Lord and move forward in who God wants you to be no matter what!

I just thought it was important for you to hear from me what I believe it is to be a woman and that we should never think we have to dress like men, talk like men, act like men or feel like men to have equality. We also don’t want to get on the other side of history and treat men as they have treated us in the past. Rise up! Be better! Build healthy relationships with the men in your life and pray for those who do not value women, and ask God for His help to open their eyes and bring change to their hearts. But don’t become hardened. If we lose the elements of what make woman so special and different from men along the way to equality, then what was it that we fought for in the first place? We are not striving to be men or be as men are. We are striving for equal opportunities, equal treatment, equal acknowledgements, equal pay for who we are. The Bible teaches us that God made woman for man as a helpmate, and teaches us that we are to be equally yoked, that when we marry, we are to be as one. That means that we live together, move together, work together, decide together, accomplish together and are blessed together and equally.

Men still have some lessons to learn but I believe we are on a good road and are headed in the right direction. Just remember to keep being the beautiful creations that we are, taking our beauty and love to world as we do and not lose any of that to please men or other women who think you have to give up being kind or gentle or wearing pretty clothes or like the color pink in order to strive for equality. You don’t have to give up anything of being a woman! Keep being yourself and embrace all the lovely things there are about being a woman, because being a woman is truly an awesome being to be!

I’m sure in the years to come there will be more that I have to say about being a woman. But for now, I hope this lesson will guide you on a path that will not only please God but will bring you joy, honor, and respect from others that you will meet along life’s journey. Let’s work to build future generations of women that love unconditionally, live open handed and give freely expecting nothing in return, protect one another especially the children of the world and bring all our beauty, joy, brilliance, talents and abilities to the world to share with the men of the world whom we pray will continue to grow and change for the better of all the world. Follow after Jesus, learn and memorize God’s Word and speak it to your circumstances, pray, worship, serve others and strive everyday to please God and you will live a good, rich, and blessed life!

I thank God everyday for you two beautiful daughters that He blessed me with and I thank God that He made me a woman. A lady. A girl. A female species. I love who God made me to be and I hope that you will also love being a woman and will always embrace all of the beauty of what it means to be a woman and keep celebrating those things for the rest of your days!

With all my love and hopes,
Mama

Lessons God Taught Me From the American Election 2020

Tonight, January 6, 2021, my heart is aching and my spirit is grieved. I have spent time in God’s Word and in prayer to my Lord Jesus Christ, and felt very led to sit down and write all that is in my heart to encourage those who take the time to read my blog during this terribly trying season.

Today we witnessed an event which I would call unthinkable; a group of out of control, radical people storming upon our nation’s capitol where one woman was shot and killed and four others died from medical emergencies. (Since writing this another person has died.)

Even as I write, I feel the oppression of what has happened in my nation so heavy upon me it is hard to breathe and no, I do not have Covid, thank You, Jesus. After witnessing all that took place today, you may be feeling the same. I needed to write to release my feelings and also to share what God spoke to my heart.

Back before the election, I wrote two blogs, the first was titled: The Word of God, the 2020 Election, Trump, and a Man Named Jehu. In it I wrote why I believed President Trump would be reelected in November 2020. Please feel free to read that blog before this one if you have not so you will understand all that I am about to say now.

The second blog I wrote was titled Inauguration Day 1/20/21 and the Appointed Scripture for the Sabbath 1/23/21, again, reading both blogs will give a greater understanding for this one.

I will admit, after reading the scriptures about King Jehu, I was surprised that President Trump was not reelected. I prayed, “God, your Word says that Jehu destroys the House of Ahab and all who were connected to it. Surely Trump will be elected because if he fits the spiritual template for the modern day Jehu, then he will win another four years. Biden was connected to Obama, and Obama fits the spiritual template for a modern day Joram, and Joram was part of the House of Ahab so surely Trump will defeat Biden.” When I prayed though, as I pray all my prayers, I asked that God’s perfect will be accomplished.

Just to briefly refresh, in the Bible, the man, Jehu, destroys the House of Ahab and all who were connected to him. The book The Paradigm by Jonathan Cahn is an in depth study of these scriptures. I do want to state however, that at no time in any of Jonathan Cahn’s writings did he ever prophesy that Trump would be elected for a second term. He only taught us why he was elected and the scriptures which prophesied about Trump and the works he would do for America and the relationship and position he would maintain with Israel, as President.

Then the election came and went and we all have been witnessing what has taken place since.

The first day after the election my spirit was deeply grieved and I felt tremendous sorrow for our nation as it appeared that we would be heading further into the apostasy, or turning away from God. While there is no doubt about Trump being placed in the White House by God for His first term to accomplish specific prophetical tasks, I learned from this experience I must keep my eyes and ears solely upon God and His Word to learn what His final will is about all things. Again, I want to make it very clear that I did not read anything prophetic about Trump receiving two terms in any of Jonathan Cahn’s books. Jonathan Cahn’s book The Paradigm does not glorify Donald Trump either. He simply teaches us why God chose Trump, the causes for which he was needed in both America and Israel and how these things play into the fulfilling of prophecies written centuries ago in God’s Word. Rabbi Cahn describes Trump at times as “a fighter, an enigma, controversial, and one who delayed the sealing of the judgement of God from falling upon the nation”, and he makes his case very clear that we are not to keep our eyes upon Trump or any person, but upon God at all times for all things.

The results of the 2020 election left my mind whirling and I am sure many of you felt or still feel the same way. As I have written many times before, I am not a political representative. I am a servant of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ and my Father God, Jehovah, but my gifts are in other areas, I am not a prophet. I am also a registered independent voter and as I wrote in my previous blog, I had a terrible conflict within myself where Trump was concerned. When he first stepped out onto the political stage I was repelled by his harshness, he was far too abrasive and at times disrespectful for me. His words affected my spirit and troubled my heart. I found myself telling my children, “Please don’t speak like that to others. That is not how we represent Christ.”

It was because of his harshness that I didn’t take the time to always listen to him and I didn’t know all that he stood for where his policies were concerned. I was also confused as I saw so many Christian people, many that I love and respect, throwing all their support behind him and at times would defend or make excuses for his words and behaviors. Words and behaviors that did not represent Jesus Christ or the Word of God. Again, I took the matter to God in prayer and asked Him to reveal to me how it was that He could choose such a man to accomplish what He wanted done in the White House for the American Nation. God answered and led me to the books of Rabbi Jonathan Cahn. Again, Jonathan Cahn’s books teach us the scriptures as to why Trump and others who have led our nation have done so, but he did not predict a second term election and he teaches us to keep our eyes on the Only Savior of America and the world, Jesus Christ.

It wasn’t until I began devouring Rabbi Cahn’s books and teachings that I finally understood why God would choose such a man to do His work. I won’t go into the details of the teachings, there is too much to tell. I will just highly recommend you to get all of Jonathan Cahn’s books. Don’t miss any of them, they are all so important and relevant. You won’t regret reading them. They are not conspiracy theories or the writings of a radical of any kind. They are writings divinely appointed by God, warnings of the times, all proving that the prophecies of the Old Testament are being fulfilled, we are living in the days of the book of Revelation and time is of the essence. Johnathan Cahn shows us how our nation is turning from God, the importance of our return to Him and what God’s Word says will take place in our nation if we don’t.

I encourage you to take your time to read them, ponder the teachings and study them with your Bible. They will not only enlighten you personally for your spiritual walk, they will also give you clear understandings for events that are taking place in the world, on the leaders in our nation, and events of warning that have been taking place for the past twenty years and more.

What I learned from these books was that Trump being placed as the American President wasn’t about who he was as a man, but the works that God wanted accomplished through him. For Israel, Jehu was that man, and for America in 2016, Trump was that man. It was not about his personality, it was about his policies.

After the 2020 election, I began to pray and I kept going back to 2 Kings chapters 9 and 10 to read aloud to the Lord about the man named Jehu who was chosen to destroy the House of Ahab.

In the book of 2 Kings chapters 9 and 10, we are taught that Jehu, a captain of an army who was harsh, abrasive, and had only ruled within the ranks of his armies but never ruled a nation or even governed over a city or town, was anointed King over Israel for the purpose of destroying the House of King Ahab. Again, for an in depth study on all that took place, I recommend The Paradigm by Jonathan Cahn to you, but in a word, what happened was Jehu destroyed the Baal gods in Israel.

The Queen Jezabel, who was a Baal worshipper from Phoenicia, had married King Ahab, ruler of Israel. Ahab knew of the teachings of God, Jehovah, but he wasn’t a strong believer or follower. Ahab allowed Jezebel to influence him to take God out of Israel. She drove out the prophets and enforced that the god Baal would be the god of the land.

It is important to understand that worshipping Baal not only went against God, Jehovah’s first commandment of having no other God but Him, but Baal worship was carnal and immoral in every aspect. To gain favor from the Baal gods, the people would sacrifice their own children in fire. Proving the Baals to represent nothing of good, but of evil.

I have learned the meaning of jealousy when translated in the Hebrew language means: the fear of losing something of value. I grew up hearing the word jealousy as a dark spirit. To have a spirit of jealousy was to have an evil spirit, which didn’t make sense to me because all through the Bible you can find scriptures which describe God as a “jealous” God. Then, I learned from Pastor Bill Borinstein a man raised in the Jewish faith who became a follower and pastor of Christ, that the Hebrew translation of jealousy is “the fear of losing someone of value“. Knowing this Hebrew translation of the Word really helped me tremendously. It blesses me now to understand God’s meaning of jealousy and that He is jealous for me. It is the word envy which is connected with an evil spirit because it’s definition is: a feeling of discontented or resentful longing aroused by someone else’s possessions, qualities, or events and we all know that envy can lead to terribly destructive behaviors.

Knowing our God loves us so much that He is jealous of losing us is a powerful and beautiful thing. It is also why His first commandment is “Thou shall have no other gods before me.” (Exodus 20:2 and Deuteronomy 5:6.) He loves us more than we can fathom and He doesn’t want to lose us. He wants us to have a close relationship with Him, even closer than an earthly father with his children.

Now, can you imagine how brokenhearted and angry God was with the Israelites? After He declared them His chosen people, saved them from slavery, and delivered them into the promised land, He sees them not only completely abandon Him and His Word. He sees them begin worshipping the Baals, becoming so mentally and spiritual sick that they would sacrifice their precious children in fire to gain the favor of their false Baal god.

Let’s just say, this didn’t go well for Israel.

The killing of their children and the carnal sins the children of Israel were engaging in daily, openly, and often publicly in the Baal temples, among other sins was what brought the judgement of God, Jehovah, and the destruction of the nation of Israel down upon them–not once, mind you, but three different times! God would forgive them, restore them to their land, then new generations would arise and stray from God, judgement would come and then destruction, but none of those times of judgement and destruction came to Israel without warnings. God is a merciful, loving God and He warned them over and over and over again through the scriptures, through the words of the prophets, through signs and events which took place, all communicating that the Israelites were not obeying Him and what would happen if they did not repent and return back to Him.

Just as God warned Israel, God has been warning America for the past twenty years.

So, how did Jehu destroy the House of Ahab? He destroyed the temples of Baal and brought an end to the sacrificing of children in the land.

Now, let’s look at how that compares with President Trump. You might be thinking, you crazy lady, Americans don’t sacrifice their children in fire. No, but there have been over 61 million abortions performed here. That’s not even including the other countries certain American Presidential administrations influenced to make abortion legal in their countries, sadly, 61 million and counting is just America’s tally.

Jehu destroyed the Baal temples, which means he brought an end—temporarily, but an end for a time to the killing of innocent children. Jehu did not stop the judgment of God from falling upon Israel but his actions delayed it.

Jehu chose as his “right hand man” a holy man named Jehonadab, son of Rechab who was a true follower of God and well respected in his community. This fits the description of Vice President Mike Pence. But Jehu was described as having great “zeal” for God, Jehovah, and the Bible says in 2 Kings 10:29 “Jehu did not turn away from the sins of Jeraboam the son of Nebat, who had made Israel sin, that is, from the golden calves that were at Bethel and Dan.” I am not as scholarly as most in the Word, but I do know that this sin was something which was recognized as a national sin, allowing the golden calves to remain in Israel was to allow another god in the land which still displeased and disobeyed God. I do not know what the exact connection there might be on this matter between Jehu and Trump, only to show that Jehu was not considered a holy man. He was obedient to the task he was given by God to destroy the Baals and slow the judgement upon Israel.

While there were no Baal temples in America to be destroyed, though two Baal temples were destroyed by ISIS right as President Trump took office, (also in the Paradigm) Trump was given three divine opportunities to nominate three Supreme Court Judges who possibly could be the ones to help over turn Roe Vs. Wade. Just think about that for a moment. Three Supreme Court Justices had to be replaced within a timespan of four years. Here are some documented facts I found listed on ballotpedia.com on the history of judges being replaced in our nation:

As of January 1, 2021, President Donald Trump (R) had made 234 Article III judicial appointments—three supreme court justices, 54 appellate court judges, 174 district court judges, and three judges on the Court of International Trade. That ranked him second among all presidents since Jimmy Carter in the total number of appointments, second in appellate court appointments, and second in district court appointments through December 31 of the fourth year of a president’s term.

That is incredible and I believe the timing and the people appointed to the Supreme Court was orchestrated by the mighty, all powerful hand of God, Jehovah.

If we return to story of Jehu and how he accomplished destroying the House of Ahab, it was done by overturning the nations law to allow innocent children to be killed. Could it be that by President Trump’s Supreme Court Justices, who are not in favor of abortion, Trump did fulfill the purpose of God when it comes to abortion? Could it be that in the days ahead, we will see this Supreme Court reverse the law of allowing innocent babies in America to be killed by abortion? Is that how Trump, like Jehu, brings down the “Baals” in America?

It is definitely something to think about and more importantly to pray about.

Another important factor of President Trump’s administration was to take the restrictions off Christians that had been put into place by the Obama administration which were upon the foundation built by the Clinton administration. For facts and dates on all these occurrences I again direct you to the book The Paradigm by Jonathan Cahn or just Google them. Until I read The Paradigm, I had no idea that Obama had put so many restrictions on Christians and the Word of God in our nation. The documented facts of it all will shock and sadden you if you love Jesus, but you must learn about it so that you use the power of prayer against such actions, actions which will certainly come to Christians and Jews in the future.

You might be saying, “Yes, I concede that those things took place under the Trump administration. So why then did God just allow, as I am writing this, Joe Biden to become President? Yes, the time is now 1:27am January 7, 2021 and I just witnessed the sealing of the electoral college votes and listened to Vice President Mike Pence declare Joe Biden and Kamala Harris, President and Vice President of the United States.

I also witnessed the declaration of the two democratic senators in Georgia named as the winners of those races.

In this moment, my human mind would agree with you that it is very hard to understand why God would now suddenly allow all these things to take place in our government and with the leaders which are now established, who will certainly pick up the and pass the batons of apostasy to run and spread through our nation against God, Jehovah and Jesus Christ His Son, when so much progress was being made for the nation to return to God, Jehovah.

I am taken back to the very important part of Jehu’s story which was that the nation of Israel did not fully turn back to God. Yes, Jehu had zeal for God. Yes, he stood up for those who believe in and serve God and he did this with a God fearing man Jehonadab, by his side, a man like Mike Pence. Jehu delayed the judgement of God from falling upon them, but when you read the story of Jehu in 2 Kings chapters 9 and 10 and also in 2 Chronicles 22 you do not read where Israel fully returned back to God.

After I wrote and published my first two blogs, my husband reminded me about another teaching on Jehu which was not found in 2 Kings or 2 Chronicles. I mentioned it briefly in my previous blog. Here is the very important truth found in Hosea 1:4 “And the Lord said to him, “Call his name Jezreel, for in just a little while I will punish the house of Jehu for the blood of Jezreel, and I will put an end to the kingdom of the house of Israel.

After reading that verse the question comes to mind, “Why would God punish Jehu and his house, when Jehu did what he was told? The answer, according to the scriptures, was because Jehu did more than God told him too. This verse was brought again to my attention by my husband, Josh, who has struggled with Trump’s words and actions as a man. Biblical fact: Jehu was sent by Jehovah to destroy the House of Ahab and the Baal temples and gods. But Jehu took his spilling of blood much farther than God commanded him. He was brazen with his killing and God was not pleased with the excess blood Jehu shed in Jezreel.

We learn from this and other verses that Jehu had not completely surrendered himself to the will of God.
Is this the reason why God has not restored President Trump for a second term? I do not know the answer, only God knows. I felt it was something important to pray about.

In addition to this, God began to speak to my heart about the nation’s apostasy as a whole. The word apostasy means: the abandonment or renunciation of a religious or political belief and of course, in this context, I mean it for the apostasy from God, Jehovah and Jesus Christ. Trump being placed in the White House may have accomplished some of the tasks God wanted complete in our nation, but there is clearly no return back to God as a nation. In fact, things keep getting worse.

Donald Trump is not responsible for the hearts of the American people to choose God. It is up to each and every individual to make that personal choice and God gives us free will to make it. God wants us to choose Him because we love Him and Jesus stands at the door of our heart and knocks like the perfect Gentleman that He is. As the years have progressed, we can clearly see that America is not, on a whole, moving to return to God but away from Him. So now, I must ask more questions. Given our nations history with having men who held God’s Word in the highest place of authority and tried to honor Him through their leadership, would President Trump have turned the tide of the election by leading with a sound, evident Godly example in his words and fruit? Again, only God knows the answer to that question.

Americans have had Godly men in office to lead by example with their words and actions. God blessed their hands and minds and they accomplished incredible works for the American nation and for other nations. We know Jehu and Trump delayed judgement from falling on their nations because of the killing of the unborn. Then there were the issues of the people of the nations turning away from God. Jehu and Trump both had great zeal for God and their works opened up a spiritual window, which allowed the people of the nation time to return to God. I, personally, am very thankful for this window of time to keep spreading the good news of Jesus Christ to whoever will listen. I keep telling my children, “Presidents are temporary, Jesus is forever.” So we don’t want to lose ministry opportunities because of politics which also are temporary.

If you read the book The Oracle, you will see how God moves leaders into and out of position worldwide to fulfill His scriptures, commands, and prophecies regarding Israel, His chosen people. This brings me to another important task that President Trump accomplished and one of the very reasons God placed him in the Oval Office. The book The Oracle explains it in excellent detail, but to sum it up, moving the Capitol of Israel back to Jerusalem had to happen to fulfill the scriptures pertaining to the year of the Jubilee in the Bible. Jonathan Cahn’s book The Oracle teaches about the year of the Jubilee in great detail.

The relationship America has with Israel must also be maintained. We are also connected to Israel by more than just one country supporting another in being allies, but because of those who dedicated this land to God– and I don’t mean only those who are considered our “Founding Fathers”, I mean even farther back than that. The Pilgrim’s, they dedicated and spoke the same prayers over American as Moses spoke over the nation of Israel. It was dedicated to God, Jehovah to be a light to the darkness. A city upon a hill, which is what God commanded us to be, a light in the darkness. Ronald Reagan declared agreement to this in his famous “City Upon the Hill” speech. So there is a powerful, supernatural, spiritual connection between the two nations.

Still, America determines their “kings”, our Presidents of the United States, not by declaration but by vote and something very powerful keeps coming into my mind. God gives us free will to choose Him and that doesn’t just mean through our personal acceptance as our Lord and Savior. It also means in our land, through our votes of our leaders and the laws which are created here.

The votes of the American people are cast with their personal feelings and beliefs. What is in their heart is what leads to their vote. There is, of course, the great dispute that this was a fraudulent election. I cannot speak to either side on the matter because I only know what I am told and have no firsthand proof or evidence of anything. Because I do not know what is truth, it is a matter I have given to the hands of God. God knows the absolute truth about this validity of this election and if there is fraud that He wants revealed, we can pray He will reveal it.

Then, something else came to me, again, something very strong and very powerful. A missed opportunity that might not have changed the outcome of the election, but certainly would have been incredibly powerful, spiritual moment, one very pleasing to God.

In my blog titled: Inauguration Day 1/20/21 and the Appointed Scripture for the Sabbath 1/23/21 I write about a scripture that will be read by Jewish Rabbi’s all over the world on the Sabbath Day after the American Presidential Inauguration. It is 2 Chronicles 30:1-12

“Hezekiah sent word to all Israel and Judah and also wrote letters to Ephraim and Manasseh, inviting them to come to the temple of the Lord in Jerusalem and celebrate the Passover to the Lord, the God of Israel. The king and his officials and the whole assembly in Jerusalem decided to celebrate the Passover in the second month. They had not been able to celebrate it at the regular time because not enough priests had consecrated themselves and the people had not assembled in Jerusalem. The plan seemed right both to the king and to the whole assembly. They decided to send a proclamation throughout Israel, from Beersheba to Dan, calling the people to come to Jerusalem and celebrate the Passover to the Lord, the God of Israel. It had not been celebrated in large numbers according to what was written.

At the king’s command, couriers went throughout Israel and Judah with letters from the king and from his officials, which read:

“People of Israel, return to the Lord, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, that he may return to you who are left, who have escaped from the hand of the kings of Assyria. Do not be like your parents and your fellow Israelites, who were unfaithful to the Lord, the God of their ancestors, so that he made them an object of horror, as you see. Do not be stiff-necked, as your ancestors were; submit to the Lord. Come to his sanctuary, which he has consecrated forever. Serve the Lord your God, so that his fierce anger will turn away from you. If you return to the Lord, then your fellow Israelites and your children will be shown compassion by their captors and will return to this land, for the Lord your God is gracious and compassionate. He will not turn his face from you if you return to him.”

10 The couriers went from town to town in Ephraim and Manasseh, as far as Zebulun, but people scorned and ridiculed them. 11 Nevertheless, some from Asher, Manasseh and Zebulun humbled themselves and went to Jerusalem. 12 Also in Judah the hand of God was on the people to give them unity of mind to carry out what the king and his officials had ordered, following the word of the Lord.”

I had a beautiful idea of President Trump reciting this scripture which lead me to write the blog about the inauguration. Now, I wonder if my vision wasn’t of Trump reading the scripture at the inauguration, but if the timing for this scripture was for him to read it at his “Save America” rally? Would it have changed the outcome for Congress and the sealing of the electoral college votes? I don’t know. But I know for certain it would have been very pleasing to God, Jehovah, for Trump to stand before those who had gathered with him and read those powerful passages from God’s Word encouraging the people to “return to God”.

I believe that Donald Trump did fulfill purposes while in office that God had for him and although I truly thought he would remain in office to continue that work. it that doesn’t mean that God’s Word was wrong. It means I was. God’s Word is perfect and true. God’s timing is also perfect though we do not always understand why He does the things the way He does or why He sometimes waits years or even decades to do them. Still, God’s Word and timing are perfect and true. Always. So just because Trump didn’t get elected for a second term, doesn’t mean he didn’t fulfill God’s plan, or perhaps his second term is going to be placed in a different time. Only God knows what His plan is and we must trust that He will reveal it to us as He wills.

After the election, God reminded me of Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” I also keep having this verse come to mind: Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.”
Perhaps this election was for us who believe and follow God, a test. A test to see that we do need to stop, be still and wait to see what God wants to accomplish. God’s perfect will being done is always what is most important.

Another thought I wanted to share was a scripture that God led me to post on all my social media sites, Isaiah 43:16-19 “Thus says the Lord, who makes a way in the sea and a path through the mighty waters, Who brings forth the chariot and horse the army and the power…do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a NEW thing! Now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”

I believe we are entering a powerful season where we are going to see God move in ways we never imagined! This was another reason I believed Trump would remain in office. I kept feeling led, and have heard many other believers state they feel the same, that in the next four years we are going to enter into time of the outpouring of the Holy Spirit like we have never seen before. For my earthly mind, I thought that meant Trump would be in office to protect the Christians during that season. But God doesn’t need Trump in the White House to pour out His Spirit! He can do that however and whenever He wants without the help of man! After all, none of us were there when He created this universe and all that it in it! God is God and can do anything! Matthew 19:26 “With God ALL things are possible!”

Jesus could come before I am finished writing this blog, only God knows the time of His Return. We are not guaranteed any amount of time, God holds the number of our days. So we must be thankful for everyday He blesses us with and use everyday He gifts us to do our best to serve Him. And in that thankfulness, let’s live in the joy of revival! Revival for Israel! Revival for God’s church! Revival for the hearts of His people all over the world, and revival in places with people who never knew God before!

This belief also revealed something to my heart and what I am about to say, I say as presenting information on my opinion and not in the form of judgement. My husband and I have had many discussions about how there are people, like us, who struggled with Trump’s words and at times actions, but had learned why God had allowed him to take office in 2016. However, during that time, we personally witnessed other people who had taken their support for Trump to a totally different level. It appeared through their words and their actions that they had shifted their eyes to be fixed upon the President to change the state of the nation in ways only God could do. Instead of keeping their eyes fixed upon Jesus, their words and actions displayed more importance of their focus being upon Trump as the Savior of America. But there is only One Savior for America and all the nations of this world, and that Savior’s name is Jesus Christ.

It is important for me to make myself clear that I am not categorizing these people with those the world witnessed on
January 6, 2020 who stormed the Capitol. That group does not represent, overall, the people who supported Trump. Those people are of a different mentality than who I am speaking about. I know personally many people who support Trump that would never ever think of doing something like what took place in our Capitol. Not ever! I am talking about the people who support Trump as good citizens can and have. I have felt, and so has my husband, that we have been crying out during these past four years for people to keep their eyes upon Jesus, not Trump. For those of us who claim Christ’s name as a Christian, we can never allow the actions or words of any man to infiltrate our hearts, minds and spirits to the point where we would ever make ourselves unapproachable about God or become a poor representation for the love of Jesus Christ and His message of love.

Yet, this did happen. It was as if because people knew God placed Trump in office, it gave them permission to talk or act like he did. Like it made it okay, but words and actions that do not represent the love of Christ should not be an example for a person who claims Christ and wants to follow Him. We listen to Jesus. We follow Jesus. We speak and act like Jesus. Jesus was a perfect man, I don’t care what Don Lemmon or Chris Cuomo say. He was perfect, is perfect and is the perfect example for us all. Of course, we are human and will make our mistakes, but Jesus is always the example we should follow. God’s Word tells us we are to be separate from the world, not be like it. If we don’t separate ourselves from those in the world who do not know Jesus, how will they recognize Him in our lives? How will they recognized Him anywhere?

Jonathan Cahn recognized the same thing Josh and I did about Trump and people looking to him to fix our nation. All through his books he constantly reminds people to constantly to keep their eyes focused upon the TRUE King, Jesus Christ. He also sent a message of peace to calm the anger of people in the nation before anything happened with the attack on the Capitol through a short but powerful message which I will place at the end of this blog. He knew something was brewing and called for people to turn their eyes and voices to God. I highly recommend you to listen to the wise and encouraging words of Jonathan Cahn as he directs us to the Word’s of God, Who is and forever will be sovereign.

I have said to so many people, “American Presidents will come and go, but Jesus is forever. His love is eternal and our main goal as His servants are to draw people closer to Him. But how can that be possible if we are disgracing others because they believe differently on political issues? If we mock them, make fun of them, or belittle them, why would they ever want to listen to us about the love of Jesus?” The answer is simple. They won’t.

So let me make myself very clear about who I am.
*I am first and foremost, a servant of my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
*I want to make sure that I do not follow after the words and ways of man, but after the examples of Jesus given to us in God’s Holy Word.
*I want to make sure that I do not isolate myself from those who oppose my beliefs or are different from me because I have no idea who God wants to bring to my life so that I can minister His love to them.
*I want to make sure that my political beliefs do not cause me to be cruel to others so that they won’t listen to me when I want to tell them about the love of Jesus.
*And I want to be God’s hands extended to share that love to all His children, no matter what their color, creed, sexuality, faith or political party. This is why I believe God has always kept me as an independent American, so that I can reach everyone. This is my calling, to please God first and always. I am human just like anyone else. I get upset and hurt like anyone else and I make mistakes like anyone else, but everyday I get my eyes focused upon Christ so that tomorrow, I can try and do a better job at representing Him as He rightly deserves.

I felt it important to state that because the thought did come to me today in prayer that perhaps one of the reasons God did not allow President Trump to remain in office is because there were too many people with their eyes fixed upon him instead of having their eyes fixed upon God to restore the nation.

As we move forward into this new year, I want to encourage you strongly in the Lord! Do not give up hope!
Do not think God has abandoned us! Keep your eyes firmly fixed upon Him and His Word! God never fails! Although we might not understand what is happening with the leadership in this moment, I hear the words of Jesus in my heart saying in John 13:7 “Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”

Yes, we have a Democratic House of Representatives for the American government.
Yes, the world also woke up to a Democratic Senate.
Yes, the world woke up to a Democratic President and Vice President.
But NEVER forget! The world woke up to God, Jehovah and His Only Son Jesus Christ on their Thrones!
God IS sovereign! And anytime you feel like you are losing hope, turn off your news, close the social media sites, and get out the Word of God. Listen to the Words of God, not man. Stop focusing your eyes upon man and keep them firmly, locked in place upon Christ Jesus!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to thine own understanding, but in all thy ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path.” Proverbs 3:4-5

There are things being planned by those who now have the power in the government which will greatly affect the Christian, Catholic and Jewish peoples, things like the Equality Act and previous actions put in place by the Obama administration which could be reimplemented in the Biden administration against believers obtaining freedoms that the Constitution clearly provides. True, Joe Biden is a Catholic man, but he plans to reinstate federal funding for abortions and also wants to codify Roe vs. Wade into the Constitution. We cannot rely on man to help our nation, we can only rely on God and return to Him for help in our land.

Again, don’t lose hope! We can battle these things through prayer! I also strongly encourage you to pray daily for Israel, if you feel led, give to different Israeli ministries and also to bless the Jewish people in your communities. God’s Word tells us in Genesis 12:3 “I will bless those who bless you, And I will curse him who curses you; And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” I have heard Joe Biden state that he holds to the same thoughts and ideas about Israel as Obama did. We can pray that his heart can be changed about his feelings toward Israel and if they are not, then make sure your family’s stances are firmly placed with Israel and pray for all those who believe and uphold God’s Word and stand with God’s chosen people so that any further shakings or judgements that come upon our nation during this Biden administration, will not fall upon the righteous. The Word of God is full of scriptures that prove God will protect those who fear and serve Him and stand with Israel.

I do encourage you to learn about these things which have been spoken as part of a Biden administration and the acts Congress has on their agenda, but do not be afraid! God says to you today in 2 Chronicles 20:15
“Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude for the battle is not yours, but God’s.”

There will come more shakings. The Shemitah year is coming. It will be from September 2021 to September 2022. I recommend to you reading “The Year of the Shemitah” by Jonathan Cahn to learn what the Shemitah year is and be prepared to honor it as God has written so that you will be blessed.

It is also important that we remember, if we completely turn against those who oppose us, how will we ever be able to share with them the Gospel and love of Jesus? Do not look at any people as an enemy to destroy. Always remember when you encounter someone who believes differently than you what is written in Eph. 6:12 “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against a spiritual wickedness in high places.

I had been sent a video on a teaching about the courses of action that Vice President Mike Pence could take in regards to sending electoral college votes back to their states. I thought it interesting and I shared it with a couple of friends, but I felt a great peace come over me when I heard his statement of the course of action that he decided to take to uphold the Constitution. The Holy Spirit whispered to me during that time that this was an example he set to his fellow colleagues because, in the days ahead, there are going to be those who will try to implement laws about going personal faiths and beliefs which will, in turn, go against the Constitution. The example needed to be set from a man who had the election to lose by standing with the Constitution. I have respect for Mike Pence and how he handled the events which unfolded in the Senate. I have heard some terrible, wicked slanderous conspiracy theories out there about Mike Pence from those who are angry that he didn’t do more for the election. I will not be part of repeating conspiracy theories and from what I have seen from Mike Pence, I think him to be a man who works with integrity and desires to please God. I will keep him and his family in my prayers.

I also would like to make one more very important point. If you have been discouraged in your faith because of all that has taken place with leaders, elections, or things that pastors or others have said during this time. Please remember, God loves you and He did not do or say anything to discourage you. His Words, thoughts, feelings, commands, desires, joys, everything that He wants to tell us in His Word. If you are discouraged, break out the Word of God and let Him speak to you directly, always and for all things. Remember His great love for you and don’t prevent yourself from having a relationship with the One who Created you and the One who died for you because of the words or actions of humans.

In closing, I want to thank you for taking the time to read this blog. I hope that it might be a positive word of encouragement to you during these trying times. Do not lose heart and keep praying for God’s perfect will to be accomplished in our nation and in Israel. Keep praying, as I am, for wisdom, guidance and protection for the days ahead. God is in charge and always will be. Let’s keep our eyes upon Him, listen to His Word and see what He does! Always remember, those who so strongly oppose you, Jesus loves them. He died for them and they are the ones which we are called to reach. They are those of the Great Commission that Christ called us to. They are the harvest we are to bring into our Heavenly Father’s House.

I also want to thank President Trump and Vice President Pence for the good works and policies that they did in our nation which to fight against abortion, to fight for the rights of Christians and God’s Word, to choose God fearing judges and to recognize Jerusalem as the Capitol of Israel. Thank you for standing up for God to remain in America. I believe it is because of these things that the judgement for America has been delayed and I will use the window of time given with every part of my being to tell people that Jesus LOVES them!

I still have hope for America and I feel God is giving us, and all nations in the world, opportunity to reach His children like never before. We must be ready to be part of this revival. We must empower ourselves in daily prayer, fasting, worship, giving, loving, reading, studying, memorizing, and meditating upon God’s Word! We must be obedient to go where and when He says go. We must be willing to look at each and every human being with what I call Jesus Vision and see the value of the souls that He loves and died for in every person. We must stand up when the lawmakers say that they are going to implement laws which go against the Word of God, and we must do so while representing God well with our words and our actions.

My prayers for the nation, for President Trump and Vice President Mike Pence will continue along with the new President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris. I will pray for all Congress members and the Supreme Court, for all the state legislatures for God to guide and speak to them. I will also pray daily for the nation of Israel that God’s perfect and divine will is accomplished each and everyday.

I love this country and the people in it. That is the best I can do for our nation.

Jonathan Cahn’s message of peace and encouragement: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lE6lfoTiK4g&t=2s


Inauguration Day 1/20/21 and the Appointed Scripture for the Sabbath 1/23/21

I woke up today to a happy household because there is an ASU game on… and ASU is doing well! But I hadn’t watched the news or seen any reports on the Presidential Election.

I got up, had my usual morning routine and felt very led in my spirit to write something that I learned last night.

When I sat down with my laptop some notifications popped up and I learned that CNN has projected Joe Biden to be the next President of the United States.

When I saw this, I felt even more led to write this blog.

Before you begin reading, if you have not read my previous blog titled, “The Word of God, the 2020 Election, Trump, and a Man Named Jehu”. Reading that first will give you a better understanding of the content in this blog.

In the books which have been written by Messianic Jewish Rabbi Jonathan Cahn, The Harbinger, The Paradigm, The Year of the Shemitah, The Book of Mysteries, The Oracle, and The Harbinger II, which was his latest book released this year, he teaches us something over and over and over again.
In the Jewish faith, there are appointed scriptures that are to be read at the beginning of every Sabbath. These are called the Torah Readings, and it is a traditional public reading of certain passages of scriptures from the Torah. This tradition was began by Ezra after the Jewish people had been exiled and were living in captivity in Babylon and has continued for over two thousands years since the destruction of the Temple of Jerusalem.

I did not know any of this until I read Jonathan Cahn’s books and not only did it amaze me, but when I learned that the same appointed scriptures were being read by Jewish believers all over the world at sunset, I recognized how powerful and needed the tradition is.

Something else I didn’t know was that the western calendar moves in accordance to the sun. The Jewish calendar, however, moves in accordance with the moon. Every time there is a new moon, that is the beginning of a new Jewish month. The Jewish months all have different names, and they also hold a different amount of days when compared to the western calendar.

Now, when a day is completed according to God’s Word, it is when the sun goes down. So when the sun goes down it is already the next day. For example, today is Saturday, November 7th, 2020, and when the sun goes down this evening, it will be considered the next day, November 8th, 2020.

Interesting side note, something else I learned from Jonathan Cahn’s books is that in scripture, 7 stands for completion and 8 stands for new beginnings.

It is so important that you get his books and study them all. Every single book is a warning to us that judgement is in America’s midst and for those who know of his books, I am sure that seeing CNN’s projection of Joe Biden winning this election has brought you confusion and might even be questioning your faith. Or, perhaps, the thought has flitted through your mind that the judgement on our nation is moving forward and God is just done giving America time to return to Him….

…yet, something in my spirit still stirs. I can’t believe that. Not with all that I have learned from the scriptures and the books of Jonathan Cahn. The books have been an awakening to our nation for those who have read them and take them not as conspiracy theory or the writings of a radical, but of one who has been called by God, Yahweh, Jehovah, to reveal to us what all has been happening and why.

I personally can’t believe that God would bring us this far, especially after watching all that took place in Washington D.C. with The Return service that was hosted by Jonathan Cahn and dozens of other pastors across the nation and the world.

Now, in order to understand little bit more about how significant these appointed scriptures are and how they are perfectly fit for the times and events that are taking place in our country, which is not a coincidence because there is no coincidence with God, I will give you a couple of examples that are found in Jonathan Cahn’s books.

Let’s take a look at the book, The Harbinger II.

In this book, there are many examples of appointed scriptures to be read, but I will focus upon one that I just recently read.

In June 2015 there was an appointed scripture to be read publicly by Jewish believers all over the world. It was a warning, the first one was Deuteronomy 4:15-17

“Therefore watch yourselves very carefully, 16 so that you do not become corrupt and make for yourselves an idol, an image of any shape, whether formed like a man or a woman, 17 or like any animal on earth or any bird that flies in the air.”

The next one was Deuteronomy 5:7-9

“You shall have no other gods before Me. You shall not make for yourself any idols, or any image of anything in heaven above or in the earth below…You shall not reverence them or serve them.”

This, of course, is the first of the Ten Commandments. The Ten Commandments which Jonathan Cahn reminds us were taken down from the walls in America.

Yet, hours after these scriptures were publicly read from the Torah all over the world, which includes New York City, an image of a god was projected onto the outer walls of the Empire State Building. It was part of a campaign to bring awareness to endangered animals. They projected images of different animals in the world which are endangered onto the Empire State Building, but they didn’t end their campaign with an image of an animal. They ended it by projecting the image of the goddess Kali, who is the Indian goddess of darkness, and death, and destruction.

If you want to see this, all you have to do is Google, “Kali and Empire State Building”. You probably won’t even have to type it all out, it has been searched by so many of Jonathan Cahn’s readers and will probably just pop up for you.

This is an example of God’s Word being put forth publicly to the world at the same time that a “Harbinger” or sign of warning was being manifested in America.

Again, and again, I encourage to invest in ALL the books by Jonathan Cahn so that you can receive the information God has given him to spread to America and all the nations. There are many, many more examples of God’s Word being in line with a harbinger of warning, but there are also examples of blessings where God’s Word was in line with those events too.

Here is an example of that.

Donald Trump was born on June 14, 1946. That was a Friday, “sealed with the setting of the sun,” in the words of Jonathan Cahn from The Oracle. Which meant there was an appointed Word of God to be read. One of the passages was Numbers 9:15-10:10. I won’t post all of the passages, you should look those up on your own, but the one which is significant for that day is this, Numbers 10:1-10.

“The Lord said to Moses: “Make two trumpets of hammered silver, and use them for calling the community together and for having the camps set out. When both are sounded, the whole community is to assemble before you at the entrance to the tent of meeting. If only one is sounded, the leaders—the heads of the clans of Israel—are to assemble before you. When a trumpet blast is sounded, the tribes camping on the east are to set out. At the sounding of a second blast, the camps on the south are to set out. The blast will be the signal for setting out. To gather the assembly, blow the trumpets, but not with the signal for setting out.” “The sons of Aaron, the priests, are to blow the trumpets. This is to be a lasting ordinance for you and the generations to come. When you go into battle in your own land against an enemy who is oppressing you, sound a blast on the trumpets. Then you will be remembered by the Lord your God and rescued from your enemies. 10 Also at your times of rejoicing—your appointed festivals and New Moon feasts—you are to sound the trumpets over your burnt offerings and fellowship offerings, and they will be a memorial for you before your God. I am the Lord your God.”

There is no coincidence that the man who was named Trump and would be a VERY loud and blasting voice in the world, was born on the same day that the appointed Word of God included passages about blasting the trumpets.

Again, there is no coincidence with God.

As I mentioned above, there was an appointed day, by scripture, thousands of years ago in the Word of God that there would be a day of “Return”. That day was September 26, 2020 and pastors from all over the world gathered together in assemblies all over the world amidst a pandemic, to declare that we wanted our nation and other nations, The United States of America, to RETURN to God.

I highly recommend you watch this service. It is twelve hours long, but our family takes an hour or so each week to watch, learn and pray for our nation. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dw3QbqvXqVc&t=12042s

It is very important to know that during that service, there was a letter from President Trump declaring September 26, 2020 as a day of National Prayer and Return to God.

Now to my discovery!

I did some research about what the appointed scriptures will be for the next several Sabbaths all the way to the Sabbath that takes place after the presidential inauguration.

I am not a Bible scholar like Jonathan Cahn or many others, so I may have missed something significant in the scriptures for this month and December, but what I DID find blessed my heart RICHLY and I felt very led of God this morning to write this blog and share it with all who choose to read it.

The inauguration ceremony is January 20, 2021. The Sabbath day after the inauguration is January 23, 2021. This is one of the appointed passages that I found which will be publicly read in synagogues all over the world.

2 Chronicles 30:1-12 Pesach of King Hezekiah

And it reads:

30 Hezekiah sent word to all Israel and Judah and also wrote letters to Ephraim and Manasseh, inviting them to come to the temple of the Lord in Jerusalem and celebrate the Passover to the Lord, the God of Israel. The king and his officials and the whole assembly in Jerusalem decided to celebrate the Passover in the second month. They had not been able to celebrate it at the regular time because not enough priests had consecrated themselves and the people had not assembled in Jerusalem. The plan seemed right both to the king and to the whole assembly. They decided to send a proclamation throughout Israel, from Beersheba to Dan, calling the people to come to Jerusalem and celebrate the Passover to the Lord, the God of Israel. It had not been celebrated in large numbers according to what was written.

At the king’s command, couriers went throughout Israel and Judah with letters from the king and from his officials, which read:

“People of Israel, return to the Lord, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, that he may return to you who are left, who have escaped from the hand of the kings of Assyria. Do not be like your parents and your fellow Israelites, who were unfaithful to the Lord, the God of their ancestors, so that he made them an object of horror, as you see. Do not be stiff-necked, as your ancestors were; submit to the Lord. Come to his sanctuary, which he has consecrated forever. Serve the Lord your God, so that his fierce anger will turn away from you. If you return to the Lord, then your fellow Israelites and your children will be shown compassion by their captors and will return to this land, for the Lord your God is gracious and compassionate. He will not turn his face from you if you return to him.

10 The couriers went from town to town in Ephraim and Manasseh, as far as Zebulun, but people scorned and ridiculed them. 11 Nevertheless, some from Asher, Manasseh and Zebulun humbled themselves and went to Jerusalem. 12 Also in Judah the hand of God was on the people to give them unity of mind to carry out what the king and his officials had ordered, following the word of the Lord.”

What I see in this passage is victory for a nation returning to God. Our nation has had judgement come upon it because of the leaders that we have had who have sanctioned and celebrated darkness calling it light, such as abortion and same sex marriage both which go against the commands of God in His Word. Leaders who have taken God out of our nation and have called those who follow Him and want to live according to His Word “dangerous” and “the enemy”.

I cannot imagine this passage of scripture being read a few days after the inauguration for a man who will continue to lead the nation in apostasy, or turning away from God. Joe Biden will continue the works of Obama and the Clintons, all of which had led us away from God. I personally can’t imagine that happening at this point in time when the nation is awakening through the power of the Holy Spirit all over the nation and through the books of Jonathan Cahn which are based upon God’s Word, teaching us to RETURN to God.

Again, I am not profound or prophetic, it was just a discovery in the Word of God that I made which brought me great joy and I wanted to share it with anyone who would read this blog.

I hope that you will turn to Word of God and the Holy Spirit to bring you peace, hope and restore any faith that you may be struggling with during this time. I encourage you, do not turn to anger. Do not turn to violence or rioting or any kind of harshness or brutality. Turn to GOD. Pray. Read the Word of God. Believe, with all your heart, your soul and your mind that GOD is in control. Continue to cry out to the Lord for our nation and for His perfect Will to be accomplished.

It will. Oh yes, indeed, make no mistake about that. God’s WILL will be done.

Psalm 77:14 “You are the God who works wonders; you have made known your might among the peoples.”

In the Mighty and Precious Name of Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen.

The Word of God, the 2020 Election, Trump, and a Man Named Jehu

Before I begin, I would like to remind my readers that I am a registered Independent voting American. I started out that way at the age of 19, led by the direction of God and I wanted to be obedient to Him. I do not think there anything is wrong with belonging to a political party, nor do I think it would hinder anyone from fulfilling their calling of ministering to others for the Lord. I can only speak to what God has led me to do personally.

Unfortunately, the country we presently live in is very divided and politics has much to do with that division. Jesus told us not to be dividers, but called us to be peacemakers in Matthew 5:9 “Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, because they will be called sons of God”.

I write the following blog in the peace of God and hope that you might be enlightened by all that I have been learning from God’s Word and inspired to do more studies on your own. And with that… I begin.

A “prophet” is a person who speaks for God by divine inspiration. I am not a prophet. I am a servant of my Lord, God, Jehovah and have been called by my name, Angelique, to be His Messenger, but I would not call myself a prophet.

There is a man among us whom, I believe, would well fit the description of a modern day prophet, though I have never heard anyone, including the man himself, call him that. I will call him that. I believe he has been placed in our time to give specific, powerful messages from God for the American nation and nations around the world.

His name is Jonathan Cahn and one of his messages is of warning.
Jonathan Cahn’s books are not hell, fire and brimstone condemning us all to the lake of fire. Nor is he a conspiracy theorist. Jonathan Cahn teaches us in all his books about the history and current condition of America, why we are where we are, why we are seeing what we are seeing, and what we can do to change it… return to God, Jehovah.

I highly recommend that people of all nations, not just Americans, get Jonathan Cahn’s books and take the time to read them, process them, and then spend time in prayer afterward. You will not regret it. They are not conspiracy theories, they are teaching us, proving to us, that Biblical prophecies have been and are being fulfilled in our time. These books will truly blow your mind, amaze you, and transform you. They will change how you view what is taking place in the world. They will change how you view the Word of God, how you see yourself and your purpose in this world, the time for which God placed you and most importantly, they will prove, using the Word of God, which is the highest authority possible to refer to, that God most definitely has worked and is still working in mysterious ways.

God is sovereign.

While I strongly recommend you starting with The Harbinger, then The Paradigm, The Year of the Shemitah, The Oracle, and now with his latest book, The Harbinger II (which I have just started), this blog is going to focus mostly upon The Paradigm.

I cannot possibly explain all that is in the book, you just need to get it and read it as soon as possible so that you will have a better understanding of what has been happening in our nation where Presidents and other law makers are concerned. If you are not a believer in God, Yahweh, Jehovah and His Holy Word, the Bible, then you might not accept what is written in The Paradigm as truth… but that won’t make it any less the truth.

I accept God’s Word as truth. God is truth and because His Word is an extension of Him, and all scripture is God breathed (2 Tim. 3:16-17), His Word is truth and He cannot go against it. Going against His own Word would be going against Himself and that is something He cannot do. Therefore, because Jonathan Cahn uses the Word of God to teach us what is happening, how history is repeating, and that God is warning us that judgement for America is in our midst, I believe the messages in his books are also truth.

For those of you who have read The Paradigm, you will understand what I am about to write. For those of you who haven’t, it may be a little more challenging, but I will do my best to explain.

Jonathan Cahn proves how leaders in Biblical days who led Israel for specific periods of time with specific agendas that went against God are being repeated in our modern world. The Kings and one particular Queen of Israel and the choices which they made to lead the nation in their own direction, which was a direction that completely opposed God, brought judgement upon Israel which ultimately led to its destruction, not just once, but three times in three different time periods.

In his book, Jonathan Cahn teaches how the following people, their beliefs, work and actions done during their “reign” of their nations fit the Biblical paradigm:
President Bill Clinton fits the paradigm of King Ahab completely.
Hillary Clinton fits the paradigm of Queen Jezebel completely.
Barak Obama fits the paradigm of King Joram almost completely because Obama was not a blood heir of the Clinton’s. The comparison to him being the heir is done through the policies that he implemented which were the same and some worse than that of the Clintons. All of these put their hands to the work of turning the nations they ruled away from God, Jehovah.


President Trump fits the paradigm of Jehu, an army captain who becomes King of Israel. Jehu was chosen and anointed by God, through the servant of Elisha, to destroy things which were leading the people of Israel away from God and help bring the nation of Israel back to God. Jehu is found in 2 Kings chapters 9 and 10 . I am not going to list the verses, you should read both chapters because it is all important and relevant.

In 2 Kings chapter 9, Jehu is anointed king, while another king, Joram, sat on the the throne of Israel. But God was very angry with Joram. Joram’s father, Ahab, and Joram’s mother, Jezebel, had brought the foreign gods of Baal and Molech, to the nation of Israel. Their agenda was to remove God, Jehovah from the land completely and kill all those who opposed them–especially the prophets. You can read all about Joram’s father, King Ahab and his mother, Queen Jezebel starting in 1 Kings 16:28. Ahab’s story goes all through the rest of 1 Kings and Jezebel’s story goes into 2 Kings and ends in the 9th chapter of 2 Kings.

The prophet, Elisha, who had been trained by his master, Elijah, carried out the Lord’s command to have Jehu anointed King of Israel. Elisha sent his servant to accomplish this and once it was done, Jehu headed for the city of Jezreel. Our focus for election of 2020 lies within the scriptures beginning within 2 Kings chapter 9:14. Jehu, who is racing to Jezreel in his chariot after being anointed as the new king of Israel, meets Joram in a field. Joram travels out in his chariot to meet Jehu and he takes with him his friend, Ahaziah, King of Judah.

Now, to understand who King Ahaziah was it is important to understand that at this point in time, Israel had been divided into two parts; a northern kingdom which was still called Israel, and a southern kingdom which was Judah. Although Ahaziah was a king, he was king of Judah which was smaller than Israel, so he was a king, but he did not posses equal status than that of Joram.

So Joram and Ahaziah go out in their chariots to meet Jehu. Now, Jehu, according to the scriptures in 2 Kings, was a captain in the army of Israel. He was not a king or prince, he was of no royal blood line, nor did he work in the palace. He commanded men in the army. He was harsh, strong, and could be brutal.

To fully understand how unusual this situation was with having two men anointed as “king” at the same time, you would have to read the story in 2 Kings. For this blog, I will just say it was not done. Israel didn’t have two kings at the same time. But God was not pleased with Joram as the king of Israel as he did more evil against God while the throne than his father, King Ahab. Joram took his father and mother’s agenda to remove God from Israel even further and because of that, God had Jehu anointed as King of Israel.

In 2 Kings, Jehu comes racing into a field outside of Jezreel and Joram and Ahaziah go out to meet him. Jehu, who served in the army under not only Joram, but under King Ahab, Joram’s father, is riding toward them and it is in this field while driving their chariots that Jehu let’s it be known he is not coming in peace.

Joram turns and tries to flee, but Jehu shoots him between the shoulders and he dies in the field… the same field where his father had also died in a chariot… the same field that Elijah had given the word of warning from God, where they would both die.

There are no coincidences with God. God is truth and so is His Word. In fact, there is no word in the Hebrew language for coincidence.

So Joram is dead in the same place as his father, in his chariot, just as his father died in his chariot. But Ahaziah is only wounded and gets away. The Bible tells us that he later dies in Megiddo.

Now, in 2 Chronicles 22:2 there is more about Ahaziah and in 2 Chronicles 22:7-9 there is more to the story from another writer’s point of view. There are more details to the story given by the Chronicler than what was given in 2 Kings about Ahaziah’s death. In 2 Kings 10 it tells how Ahaziah was wounded, fled and later died in Megiddo.

What we learn in 2 Chronicles was that after he was wounded and fled, he hid in Samaria but then in 2 Chronicles 22:8-9 it says, “And it happened, when Jehu was executing judgement on the house of Ahab, and found the princes of Judah and the sons of Ahaziah’s brothers who served Ahaziah, that he killed them.
Then he (Jehu) searched for Ahaziah and they caught him, he was hiding in Samaria, and brought him to Jehu. When they had killed him, they buried him, “Because,” they said, “he is the son of Jehoshaphat, who sought the Lord with all his heart.” So the house of Ahaziah had no one to assume power over the kingdom.”

Now, when you compare the two accounts of the story you can see how both authors give different details in their stories. In 2 Kings, the writer (some believe was Jeremiah) doesn’t tell how Ahaziah dies, it only says,
2 Kings 9:27 “…and they shot him at the Ascent of Gur, which is by Ibleam. Then he fled to Megiddo and died there.”

The author doesn’t tell us how he died and the way it is written, it leaves us thinking perhaps he died from the wound which was inflicted upon him.

If we go back again to 2 Chronicles 22:9 it says, “When they had killed him, they buried him, “Because,” they said, “he is the son of Jehoshaphat, who sought the Lord with all his heart.” This author (believed to be Ezra) doesn’t tell us where Ahaziah was buried. Yet, back in 2 Kings 9 it says, “And his (Ahaziah’s) servants carried him in the chariot to Jerusalem, and buried him in his tomb with his fathers in the City of David.”

I know that it a lot to process about the death of Ahaziah. What is important is to understand that you have two different authors writing about the same story and each give us important details to understanding the bottom line: Ahaziah is destroyed and all his blood line as it says in 2 Chronicles 22:9 says, “…So the house of Ahaziah had no one to assume power over the kingdom.”

I do need to tell you that if you do further studies, you will find another king named Ahaziah, but he is not the same as this one. There was also another Joram (aka Jehoram) but again, that was a different King in a different time.

Alright. So what is the reason that I am writing all this? Why am I touching upon this part of the story and why is it important for us right now?

If you read the entire book of The Paradigm, and get into the Word of God, you might be thinking like I am.

Again, let me repeat, in his book, Jonathan Cahn teaches the following people fit the Biblical paradigm:
President Bill Clinton fits the paradigm of King Ahab.
Hillary Clinton fits the paradigm of Queen Jezebel.
Barak Obama fits the paradigm of King Joram, all of these put their hands to turning the nations they ruled away from God, Jehovah.
President Trump fits the paradigm of Jehu, an army captain who becomes King of Israel, and Jehu was chosen, by God, to do specific works in removing the Baal and Molech gods so that the nation of Israel would turn back to Yahweh, Jehovah, God.

If everything in the paradigm fits with Ahab and Clinton, Jezebel and Hillary, Joram and Obama… then why wouldn’t everything with Jehu also fit? If Jehu’s work opened a window for the people to return back to God, Jehovah without persecution or death, then wouldn’t Trump do the same for America?

In order to understand what all Obama did to remove God from our country and to understand all that Trump has done to bring God back in, you must dig deeper. The mainstream media did not and is not reporting on all that the two men set forth into our nation where God is concerned. Jonathan Cahn touches on a few “samples” of works set into motion by the Obama administration which were directly against God, Jehovah, and His followers, actions I had no idea were taking place. They were utterly shocking. (Get The Paradigm!)

Jonathan Cahn presents great evidence supported by the Word of God with actual, documented events that took place during the Clinton and the Obama administrations to prove their hands, actions and laws, helped lead the American people away from God, Jehovah, declaring Christians to be the enemy of the nation. Again, there is so much more to the story than what I am revealing, which is why you need to read Jonathan Cahn’s book to have total understanding.

I finished The Paradigm this past August and I can’t stop thinking about a couple very important details. First of all, it is important to understand that when the term “killed” is used in the scriptures, Jonathan Cahn equates that in modern times not to mortal death, but to political death. The end of a person’s reign or position on the national stage. While Jehu did physically kill Joram… and Jezebel… and many others, Trump did not actually kill any of the modern day opponents. There has only been “political” death or “death” to the policies those politicians put into place.

According to the paradigm, Joram is represented by Obama, so, I believe that there are two possibilities of who Joe Biden could represent.

First, Joe Biden might fit the modern representation of King Ahaziah because Ahaziah was a king that governed over a smaller kingdom. Israel, at that time also called Samaria, was the greater of the two nations, but Judah was the smaller part of the kingdom, which was connected to Israel and had once been part of that nation.

Biden was Vice President, a lesser position to being the President of the United States, but still second in command in power and in position as a governing authority over the nation.

On a side note, it was also interesting to me that in the beginning of the race for the Democratic nomination, Joe Biden was not the favorite. I think everyone was pretty surprised when he suddenly emerged toward the end and then easily took the nomination away from the other candidates.

That was not by chance nor by accident. That was God putting into position the man whom he wanted to run against Trump, which then will fulfill scripture because Biden served with Obama and Obama is the modern representation of Joram.

The other reason I believe Biden might represent Ahaziah, is because Ahaziah didn’t “die” right away. He escaped for a period of time and then died later. When Trump took office, Obama’s “reign” was over, but if Joe Biden represents Ahaziah, and Ahaziah was not immediately killed by Jehu and got away for a period of time and died later in Megiddo, that would correspond to the present time because Biden’s political career, at present, is still alive.

Now, if Biden doesn’t represent Ahaziah, he still could be considered a modern day representation of a Biblical times person because he served alongside Obama. If Obama is the modern day representation of Joram, then wouldn’t Biden be defeated by Trump because all of Ahab’s sons, priests, servants, everyone connected to the work of his kingdom that was taken out by Jehu? That means, that no one connected to either King Ahab, Queen Jezebel, or King Joram was left to rule or to challenge the new King, Jehu. This allowed Jehu total control to undo the work of Ahab, Jezebel and Joram, to help the nation return back to God.

One of the main elements done was to stop the sacrifice of the children of Israel to Baal and destroy all the temples and representations of Baal. One of Trump’s first acts of his administration put into motion was to help to stop abortion in America. He signed an executive order to protect the lives of the unborn and during his presidency our government is finally acknowledging that life begins at the time of conception.

Of course, Trump could not do this all by himself, but the actions which a President could take, he took and we know that he now strongly stands against abortion. He also is fighting for the rights of Christians in the nation and the Word of God, this was also demonstrated in his speech on the night of Republican Convention. All of these things and so much more can be learned by reading The Paradigm and also by doing your own research and fact checking on what all the Trump administration has accomplished in regards to acts which would return God to America.

If Joe Biden doesn’t represent Ahaziah, he is still connected directly to Barak Obama, and since Obama clearly represents the king, Joram and, according to the scriptures, 2 Kings 10:11 “So Jehu killed all who remained of the house of Ahab in Jezreel, and all his great men and his close acquaintances and his priests, until he left him none remaining.” In a word, since Jehu defeated Joram and everyone he was connected to, and Joram was Ahab’s son, and since Jehu defeated Joram and everyone he was connected to, wouldn’t it make sense that Trump will defeat Biden?

I don’t write this to try and sound profound. I don’t write this to try and take away from or add to any of Jonathan Cahn’s books. I do want to make it very clear that none of Jonathan Cahn’s books declare that Trump will have a second term. If you read his books, you will understand. I am just hoping to inspire you to read the Bible along with Jonathan Cahn’s books. I write this because I have felt led in my spirit for months to write it and it is my sincere hope that if you are reading this now and we get past the election and you see that Donald Trump is elected President of the United States, this might help you have a better understanding as to why. No matter what, Biblical history is repeating itself. God is moving, speaking, teaching, and giving us His amazing mercy and time to return to Him. I believe this would be the purpose of President Trump retaining office, to protect the rights of Christians, to help stop abortion and to give us time to bring a revival to our land and return to God.

I personally do not like Trump’s unnecessary words, tweets, and harshness that he at times expresses. To be honest, I did not vote for him in the first election. I wrote in Mike Pence on my ballot. This is why I needed to have understanding why God would chose a man like him to do his work. There are many things that are difficult to understand about Trump as to why God would use such a man for His purposes. It makes it very challenging for a person like myself who teaches the fruits of the Holy Spirit to children: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control, to understand why God would choose such a man who struggles so much to bear that fruit.

This is why God led me to read The Paradigm. I wanted to understand what God’s will was. I wanted to know God’s perfect will so that I could be obedient to vote according to His will. I prayed and asked God to help me understand who His choice of men was and why. God answered my prayer and revealed it to me through the Bible and the book The Paradigm along with other books of Jonathan Cahn.

Jehu was a harsh warrior, used to battle. He was arrogant and strong, and God used that strength in Jehu to clean out all of the Baal and Molech worship, which included child sacrifice. He needed to have someone who was not afraid of those currently in leadership. Someone who would stand up to those responsible for bringing the apostasy, or turning away from God, to Israel. Jehu was that man. Trump is that man.

I do think it is important to understand that just because God used Jehu and is using Trump to accomplish His will and give America more time to return to Him, it is also important to know that Jehu was not a godly man.

In 2 Kings 10:16 Jehu tells the “holy man”, Jehonadab (according to
The Paradigm Pence is the modern representation of Jehonadab), “Come with me and see my zeal for the Lord.” According to Google, the definition of zeal is: great energy or enthusiasm in pursuit of a cause or an objective.

Jehu wanted to obey the command of God to destroy the temples and worship of Baal that was plaguing the nation, especially child sacrifice, and destroy all that King Ahab, Jezebel, and Joram had done to turn Israel away from God. Which he did.

Yet, in 2 Kings 10:31, it says, “But Jehu was not careful to walk in the law of the Lord with all his heart.” Now, just because Jehu didn’t walk in the ways of the Lord doesn’t mean that Donald Trump won’t or can’t. God gives grace, mercy and forgiveness to all who come to His only Son, Jesus Christ and asks to be forgiven for their sins. God gives so much grace, mercy and forgiveness that if Bill and Hillary Clinton and Barak Obama repented of all their actions against God and all that they did to put their hand to turn the American nation against God and His commands, God would run to them with open arms, just like the Prodigal Son and pour out His forgiveness and mercy upon them all. All their sins and actions against Him would be thrown into the sea of forgetfulness, His grace would flow upon them, and all of heaven would rejoice. That is also something to pray for.

What is very important is that President Trump’s words and tweets which are inappropriate should not be excused or downplayed because Christians know he is chosen by God for this position. Just because he is chosen by God for this time, it doesn’t automatically make him a godly or righteous man. God cannot force any of us to open our hearts to Him and love Him, He gives us free will to choose Him. Having said that, all throughout His Word He shows He can use whomever He chooses to use, whenever and however He chooses to use them. After all… He is God, Creator of all things and All things are possible with God’. Matthew 19:26

If Christians downplay or excuse the inappropriate things that President Trump says unnecessarily then he will not learn that those things are not of God. It also makes it very difficult for non believers to want to listen to any of us teach them about the love of Jesus Christ and the fruits of the Holy Spirit because when they see Christians make excuses for those inappropriate things it is incredibly confusing to them. We sound like hypocrites. I know this because I deal with it on a regular basis in my ministry work. We must still put the Holy commands of God and the teachings of Jesus Christ first. Always! Yes, Donald Trump has been chosen by God to stop the apostasy or turning away from God in America, but He is not our Savior. There is only ONE SAVIOR and that is the Almighty, Unstoppable, All Powerful, INCOMPARABLE Jesus Christ! Jesus was a perfect man, and is a perfect God. I don’t care what any human says (Don Lemmon… Chris Cuomo), the Bible teaches us how Christ lived, how He spoke, how He led, how He loved and all that Christ did was perfect. Christians cannot abandon living after Jesus as their example. If Trump says something that is not of God, don’t make excuses for it, and don’t think that it is okay to repeat it. Pattern yourself after Jesus.
Jesus is the only example we should follow.

To paraphrase Jonathan Cahn, ‘it isn’t the President of the United States who will ultimately make America great, it is the mighty hand of God, Jehovah, Yahweh, Elohim that will do it.’

What we need to do is pray for President Trump. Prayer changes things in supernatural ways and we need to pray for him especially if he will be leader of America again for the next four years. But we also need to pray for him to completely yield his heart to Jesus Christ for himself and for his family. We need to pray for him to ask for forgiveness and follow after Jesus with all his heart and to represent Christ and His love, well, to the very best of our ability. We are not perfect and will make mistakes, thank You, Jesus for your grace, but we must try.

President Trump has expressed that he stands against abortion, which is the main sin which brought Israel to destruction when they sacrificed their children to Baal. Of course, there were many other sins that led them to that road, kicking God out, sexual immorality were also in it. But the killing of innocent children is something that tears the heart of God up. This is just one verse that tells us how strongly God feels about it:
Proverbs 6:16-19
There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community.”

President Trump is willing to stand up against abortion. He fights for the lives that God created to be allowed to live. Remember the Ten Commandments? Thou shall not kill? That command of God applies to those in the womb, helpless, defenseless and created for a purpose that God has planned for their LIFE.

President Trump stands up for Christianity, the rights to pray, the rights for Christians to be protected instead of condemned because we stand upon the Word of God and want to obey His commands. By these actions, he has proven he definitely has his heart open to God. What we need to pray for in President Trump’s heart is humility. If he were to humble himself before God it would not be a sign of weakness but one of the greatest signs of strength and obedience because true obedience to God cannot be obtained unless humility of the heart, mind, and soul is first implemented.

It is also important to know that God was not pleased with Jehu, according to the verse Hosea 1:4 because of his ‘excess in his killing’ that God did not command him to do. So too, Trump will have actions of excess that he will stand before God in judgement, just as we all will, for unless he repents of those actions and they are forgiven by the blood of Jesus Christ.

A person cannot be a true follower of Christ unless they submit their heart to Him and allow Him control of their lives. This is what some people describe as being a fan verses a follower. A true follower of Christ is going to seek daily to order their steps, their tongue, and their choices in the Word of God, to pray and seek His divine and perfect will for all things at all times, and to worship and love Him with all their heart.

From the different actions and speeches President Trump has given from time to time, he has clearly demonstrated that he wants to have God in America. I just think he hasn’t been taught all that it means to be a servant of God or guided to walk in the ways of Jesus. I believe this is why God chose Pence as Trump’s VP and I believe this is why Trump allows pastors and priests into the White House for prayer. His heart is willing and we must lift him up in prayer so that he will fully submit himself to Jesus. And can you imagine what God would do with him then? It could be incredible!

I can promise you this. I have served in ministry for the majority of the years of my life. I know that kindness and gentleness get so much more done than harshness and brutality. When you strive to be like Jesus… Jesus makes the hard places easy and the rough places smooth. (Isaiah 45:2)

There is power in prayer. Prayer does change things. I know it without a doubt to be true. This is what my prayers will be for President Trump.

I truly hope that you will take the time to invest in a solid translation of the Bible, not the “modern” translations which put far too much New Age meaning into the scriptures. Get a New King James or New English Translation. There are so many good translations out there to choose from that stay true to the original texts. I hope that you invest in all of Jonathan Cahn’s books as well. Read them, study them and allow them to transform you. The books will help you have understanding of the world around you, including the current pandemic, like never before. They will also help you to see why God placed you in the time you are, so He can use you in the days ahead!

In closing, I would like to recommend one more passage of scripture that should be read and remembered during this time: Romans 13:1-7.We are living in the last Biblical days and reading God’s Word daily is what we need to get us through them. We do not have time to waste and Jonathan Cahn was chosen by God to write the books he has as a clear, definite, undisputable warning to all of us, not just Americans but for other nations as well. We must listen and we must return back to God!

I believe that this election will be like none history has ever seen before. One that people will know could only have been done by the almighty hand of God, Jehovah. My hope is that we will be congratulating President Trump for his second term in office. But my heart, soul and mind always wants God’s perfect Will to be done first. I believe, no matter what, that it will be accomplished.

May God richly bless and keep you and I thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog!

(Please read my follow up blog: “What God Taught Me During the 2020 Election”.

Josh’s Career Path – A True Walk of Faith

Today is August 10, 2020 and our family is celebrating!

Why, you may ask? In order for you to have a complete understanding of why, I must go back to March 2019.

I picked up the mail one day and in it was a notification from the company Josh worked for, DiTech Financial. They had filed for bankruptcy.

When Josh came home I gave it to him and he told me they had explained to everyone what was going on, but he wasn’t the least bit worried about it.

A few months later, we learned that the company had been sold but Josh’s department was told that they were going to keep them all on staff and not make any changes. He even had a meet and greet with the new owners and new bosses.

On September 15, 2019, the phone rang during the middle of the day and it was Josh.
I don’t pick up the phone during the middle of the day because Monday through Friday I am teaching my children in school, so for Josh to call me at that time it had to be important. It was.

Josh had been informed that the new company had decided not to keep his department and that their last day would be October 1, 2019.

Again, Josh was not worried. Not – in – the – least. He was calm, cool and totally confident that God had a plan for him and was keeping us all firmly tucked inside His mighty, mighty hands.

Now, you may be wondering how could a man with the responsibilities of a family with three children who are loaded with dreams and hopes for the future, be completely calm, cool and full of unshakable faith when he was told that he was going to be without a job in a few weeks?

In a word. Experience.

Josh, and the rest of our crew, are veterans when it comes to him being laid off from jobs. In fact, I keep telling him he could teach classes to others on how to handle being laid off.

In 2007 when the housing market crashed, Josh was a home appraiser apprentice. You see where this is going, right? In order to complete his apprenticeship he had to accomplish 2000 hours of work. He started off well after completely his schooling, and had been blessed with a wonderful boss whose company was based in Anthem, AZ.
Josh loved the work and did anywhere from 7 to 10 houses per week. He was also richly blessed that he was paid for every house he appraised which is not always the case for apprentices. When the housing market collapsed, he was thrilled if he got to appraise 3 houses per month.

Josh had other work that he did while still trying to accomplish his 2000 hours or apprentice work, and of course, it took him close to double the time to finish his task because of the status of the housing market… but he did it! I was so proud of his hard work and perseverance.

We didn’t see it at the time, but God had a plan.

In 2007 after the market crashed, Josh went to work for Countrywide and it wasn’t too long until they had a massive nationwide layoff of over 3500 employees. Since Josh was new to the company and landed in that 3500.

The next company Josh worked for was called Marix… I honestly have no idea what it was he did there, but he was happy and he learned a lot about mortgage investments and client service management. After about three years, Marix was sold off in pieces, but Josh was offered a job at Chase Bank as the Senior Operations Manager which was a tremendous blessing from God. He was very happy at Chase, he made some beautiful, life long friends and learned much more about his industry… which I couldn’t explain to you at all. But, after about three years of working there, Chase had a layoff and Josh’s position was one of those jobs cut.

Back in the saddle again! Giddy-up! 

The layoff from Chase was much harder. The kids were all involved in sports and activities and they were just beginning to take off. Aven had been on the Sunrays Bronze Excel gymnastic team and had skipped over the silver level and was now on the gold team. Samuel and MaCaedyn were working hard on becoming first degree black belts in Tae Kwon Do and all of it cost lots of pretty pennies– pennies which we didn’t have anymore.

But God had a plan. God always has a plan.

I cannot name names, but I can say that God sent us a very special angel who blessed us so richly during that time that we did not have to take the kids out of any of their programs. Everything was paid for in full for the children. It was a miracle from the Lord and we were more than thankful for it.

Josh was laid off that time for over a year. Every single day, except Sundays, he was searching for a job and applied for over 300 of them. He took any and every side job he was offered and did everything he could to keep us afloat. I also taught private voice and piano lessons from home.

The stories for the job hunt for Josh were always the same, “You’re over qualified.” or “This position is for internal hiring or internal transfer.” And so on.

Finally, God brought him the job with DiTech and we were ecstatic because this layoff had lasted over a year. As always, Josh loved his job, the people he worked with, and he really excelled there.

By the time he got to that job, he was a changed man. I was a changed woman. We were a changed family.

We had learned to be thankful for every single blessing that came our way.
We learned to appreciate the small and simple things of life.
We had a home. We had food. We had clothes. We had vehicles, yes they were old and needed a lot of constant care, but we had them. During that time we were also blessed with a gift of our little “Hope Van”, but that is such a beautiful story, it deserves it’s own blog so I will save that for later.

Our children didn’t have to give up their dreams and their goals and we didn’t have to give up the way we wanted to raise and home-school them.
Yes, we had struggles and challenges, but we were never poor. Through it all, God was there, teaching us, guiding us showing us we could trust Him for everything. God was good. God is good. God will always be good. All the time. He never, ever fails.

Now, you may be wondering why on earth our family has gone through so many layoffs.
People who have beliefs in other faiths that teach about karma and the like might think that Josh wasn’t a good man, perhaps he was getting pay back, what he “gave around, came around” or something like that. But that is not what we believe.

I can honestly say that my husband, Josh Cox, is a very good man. And I know exactly why we went through all of these layoffs.

They were periods of preparation, training and testing, though we did not realize it at the start, we certainly know it for sure now.

For those of you who don’t know us, our family has a nonprofit organization for children in need called The Huggabear Children’s Project, Inc. We started that organization right after Hurricane Katrina hit in August 2005 and in 2008, during the midst of a challenging recession, we filed our application for our 501c3 status. On June 5, 2009 we received our declaration letter from the IRS that The Huggabear Children’s Project, Inc. was an official 501c3 tax exempt nonprofit organization in the United States. That was a great day!

One of the many things that we learned through all these layoffs was how to be better givers because we know what it is like to be in need of help.

We learned how to truly walk by faith. The definition of faith can be found in Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”
Let’s repeat that last part, “certain of what we do not see.”
To walk by faith, truly walk by faith is not something easily done. It takes practice. You can’t just talk about it, or just sing about it, or just post scriptures with beautiful backgrounds about it. You have to do it. You have to walk it. We learned how to do it.
We learned how to walk by faith and faith alone. It is not easy, I can tell you that, but boy is it life changing for the better!

If you haven’t walked the road of being laid off for a length of time personally, there is no way to truly understand all that it involves. It really is an experience you must have with a family to be able to fully understand. That doesn’t mean that you won’t have or have had other challenges which could require walks of faith. Not a partial walk, not an occasion walk, but a full throttle walk of faith. Not being able to see at all what was ahead. At times, not hearing any word. Not knowing what was happening or going to happen. Just free falling through space and time believing and trusting that the Almighty hand of God would be there to catch you.

Trust. That is what we really learned through all of the layoff days. While our faith was increased we had to learn the difference between faith and trust. In my opinion, faith was easier to learn. I have always believed with my whole heart that God’s Word is truth and I have developed a strong personal relationship with my precious Jesus through the years. I know He is alive, real and sovereign. I know ‘With God all things are possible.’ (Matthew 19:26). I know that nothing is too difficult in all the universe for the God who created the universe. I know He holds my life in His hand and that of my family and most importantly, I believe Jesus Christ died for my sins because He and my Heavenly Father God, love me more than I could possibly imagine.

But trust… trust can be much harder to learn. You see, trust is different from faith because while faith is in the believing, trust is in the waiting. With trust, you have to learn to let things go that you cannot fix. But isn’t that the hard part? Letting God have total control so He can orchestrate what He wants accomplished? We all have had the experiences where we want to keep things in our own hands so that we can fix it. We can set things right… right? But God has a plan and He always knows best.

I often teach my children when they would bring me a toy to fix but sometimes while watching me work on it they would become impatient and take it back so they could work on it themselves. When they were small, this happened from time to time and so I was able to use it as an analogy for how we are with God with our problems. If we give something to God and completely take our hands off of it, then we are completely trusting that He is working on it. But… if we keep taking the problem back and try to fix it ourselves then we take it out of His Mighty hands and He cannot do what needs to be done. We frustrate His plan with our will instead of waiting for His will.

This is one element of trust. Giving the problem to God totally and completely.
The second element of trust is in the waiting.

In the world we live in everything is fast. Fast lanes on the freeways, fast internet, fast food, fast service, fast delivery. We have become a very impatient society because we want what we want and we want it now. But that’s not how it works with God. To completely trust in God with a situation, you must give it to Him through prayer, claiming the promises in His Word that He will handle it and then… you must be still and wait. Psalm 46:10 ‘Be still and know that I am God.’

This is where my personal struggle was. I needed to learn how to trust God completely. I had strong faith. I knew that all He had to do was speak a job into existence for Josh and it would be his. My trouble was waiting on God’s perfect plan to be accomplished in God’s perfect timing.

We went through some hard days during Josh’s layoffs. We lost a beautiful home. We had to sell a truck, we spent all our savings and we had to declare bankruptcy. Financially, we lost all we had. We know what it is like to live on welfare, to have food stamps and government health insurance. For us it was a completely and totally humbling road to walk, and we did it several times.

During the recession of 2007 we moved in with my mother and all five of us shared one bedroom, closet and bathroom. We lived that way for over two years. During the Chase layoff we sold off even more possessions, jewelry, anything that could keep our family afloat. God had to strip us down of all material things so that He could rebuild us to understand what was really important in life and its not about things.

Yes, there were challenging days for sure but I wouldn’t trade any of it. Not a single day. Because everyday we learned something. We learned appreciation for the things which were most important, our family. We learned to appreciate everything we had and we also learned that a simple life is much more rich and fulfilling. Precious days and time with our precious children is what we had. I still was able to home-school our babies and had the blessing of not missing a moment with them.

We also saw the best of humanity from our friends and loved ones during these days. People who saw our circumstances and came selflessly to help us during those times will never be forgotten. I often hear people talk about what they would do for charity or to help others if they won the lottery. I always think to myself when I hear that, but what are they doing now? These beautiful people who came to help us along this road are those people who are not waiting for the lottery. They helped with what they had and I pray that God blesses each and every one of them. To these special people, you know who you are, we are so thankful.

Josh and I would hear of stories about children who were battling life threatening illnesses, children who had lost a parent or the unimaginable; parents who had lost a child and we saw just how richly blessed we were. We never had to live in a shelter. Our children were never hungry or without clothes or shoes. We always were able to see a doctor when needed and our children always had toys, entertainment and education materials. We were never poor. We were never destroyed. We were always blessed.

As I look back upon all of the years of preparation, I give praise to God. There was still so much more happiness in our days than sorrow. So much more rejoicing than mourning and so many precious moments and memories that we will cling to for the rest of our lives.

One of the reasons that I believe Josh had this last test was because of the dream that we have for our Huggabear Children’s Project, Inc. ministry. We want to build a nonprofit Huggabear Farm. A place where love, joy and imagination grows. A place where children who cannot afford to ever walk into the doors of Disneyland during their childhood or any other them park or perhaps even zoo, could come and enter for free. We want to provide a place where families who are down trodden and families who are not can all come and spend a day playing, laughing, learning, imagining and forming precious memories with their children. Investing in what is the most important treasure you will ever have, your family.

This is, I believe the reason that we had to be tested a fourth time with a fourth layoff.
We had learned to walk by faith, totally and completely. With NO worry, NO doubt and NO complaining! And God filled us with great joy daily– even during this pandemic!
We had learned to be grateful for everything!
We had learned to trust God completely and free fall through His time and space to land when and where He wanted us!
We had learned how to be better givers!
We had learned how to give more compassion for others!
We had learned not to repel the problems that we faced, but to embrace them and walk through the storms holding tight to God’s unchanging hand to learn all that he wanted to teach us while in it.
Now, to take our ministry to the next level, we had to be tested again. We needed to prove ourselves worthy of this kind of blessing because we are going to step out into the world someday and build something that has never been done before. The Huggabear Farm will be the first of its kind.

I can say with confidence that we passed this test. There was not one day where any of us were worried, concerned, scared, or complained about our circumstance. That is not to boast about us, that is to boast about the mighty work that God has done in us. We all knew God would provide for our family and provide Josh with a new job. We knew it was coming and we thanked Him for it. We thanked Him daily for the BEST job that Josh ever had!

In fact, the only people who knew about Josh not having a job were people who asked us about it. We didn’t discuss it because it wasn’t something that troubled us.

So, now I will get back to why we are rejoicing. Last month my beautiful children, Aven, MaCaedyn, and Samuel had a special prayer time of their own for their daddy to get a job. I had reminded them that when their daddy got the job at Marix it was because Aven and MaCaedyn at the ages of 4 and 2 years old sat in the corner of our room with their little pink Precious Moments Bibles and they told me “We are praying for daddy to get a job.”

That very Wednesday he was offered the job at Marix.

Yes, friends, there IS power in prayer and especially those of precious, innocent young hearts.

After remembering that story, the children, now 17, 15 and 13, went to prayer and I kid you not, that very day Josh’s old boss from DiTech called him and offered him a position with her new company. He began work today, August 10, 2020 and we are more than thankful. His office is also located in our bedroom which is another great blessing during the time of the Covid Pandemic 2020!!!

The job is with a company called Cenlar. His position is called Default Client Liaison Manager. He had his orientation today and learned that this company is employee owned and after a year he will start receiving Cenlar stock!

What a miracle! In a time of a pandemic where there are so many people laid off or companies have shut down, God provided Josh a job. And not just any job, it is the BEST paying job he has EVER had with the BEST benefits he has ever had!!! Praise GOD!!! THANK YOU, JESUS!!!! We give ALL the glory to YOU for this gift!!!

I can tell you that there is power in prayer my friends, and I hope that you when a difficult or challenging time come to your life, you will turn to Jesus. He loves you more than words can say and He is there, waiting for you to let Him help.  I have much more to say about walking by faith, but I will save that for another blog. This blog is mainly to give thanks and praise to our Almighty God, Jehovah Jirah, our Provider for all that He has done for us, all that He is doing and all that He will do in our future!!

God always has a plan, life is so much better when you let Him take the reigns!

God bless you and thank you so much for reading! Remember, JESUS LOVES YOU!

 

Happy Homeschool Tips From a Happy Homeschool Mama

“To teach is to touch a life forever.”

I don’t know who said that, but it was given to me on a beautiful heart plague over twenty years ago from one of my music students. I have it hanging on my wall and I believe it with all my heart!

If you are reading this blog, it is either because you want to become a home school family or, due to the Covid19 Pandemic, you are seeking to home school temporarily or permanently. Whatever the reason, I am very happy to try and offer you any help that you may need.

I am not a home school expert, there are many out there who have done this longer and have gained many more years of experience. I also do not believe that my methods of doing things are the only ways of doing things. Every family is different and so what I recommend is to read this through and see if there are any ideas which might work for you or ideas that you could alter to fit your family’s needs and learning styles.

I hope to make this an enjoyable experience for you! So, let’s begin!

The very first thing that is important to say is… believe in yourself! You can do this!

I know that in the beginning, I was nervous about it because I wondered, “Will I provide my children with a strong, quality education that covers all they need to know? Will I be able to give them the education in this competitive world that will stand strong when put to the test?”

Yes! You can and you will!

I began teaching music and directing choirs when I was a teen and as time went on I taught and directed dozens of kids and adults but only in music. Even though I had years of teaching experience, I was concerned that I would be able to expand my teaching abilities to other subjects. What I learned was, the more I taught the other subjects, the more I learned how to do it.  It was the process of teaching that taught me how to be a teacher! Not only that, I also learned so much and loved every minute of it!

There will be things that you will remember from school, there will be some things that you need some refreshing on and there will be some topics that you never learned at all. It’s all good! Learning together will be one of the bonds that you will form with your children through homeschooling!

I know those paragraphs are not going to build instant confidence in you, but I hope to keep encouraging you as we go along!

Before we go forward, let’s talk about one extremely important element… attitude. If you are choosing to home school your children then this shouldn’t be a problem, but if you are doing it because of necessity or in some cases you have no other option, it is so important that you maintain a healthy, happy attitude when with your precious students. Think back to your school days. Did you have a favorite teacher? If you did, I am quite sure that some of the reasons why they were your favorite was because of the joy they brought to the classroom. Their excitement to teach and for you to learn was contagious! They had a great attitude about teaching and successfully conveyed that to you. They inspired you, motivated you, encouraged you. Let these words be something you add to your daily routine with your children.

It is also very important if you have to home school and it is not something you want to do, please make sure you are careful to guard those emotions from your child. You do not want at any point and time to convey to your child that teaching them is a burden that you do not want so the child never feels like your homeschooling them is their fault or something that you resent. Remember, it is not their choice so keep to kindness and protect the hearts of your young ones.

Having said that, there will be days when the frustration might spill out. Allow yourself room for those mistakes and just be honest with your children let them know that just like they are learning new things in school, you are learning new things in how to school them. I was always completely honest with my children and found that they respected me for my honesty and didn’t look at my shortcomings like I did. They were very forgiving when I would lose it and they it also was so good for them to learn from me how to say, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” or, “I’m sorry, I made a mistake, please forgive me.” Learning how to apologize to your children when you have those moments is going to teach them how to properly apologize to others and how to forgive and  that is a very good thing!

Everyday when you wake up to get ready to teach your children, make sure that you take some time to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally. Teaching will test you—daily, so be sure that you are prepared daily to pass those tests.

Prayer and time in the Word of God are the best ways to prepare yourselves.
I open my morning by reading a chapter of the Bible and spending time in prayer for my day. I ask for help, direction wisdom and that I will handle my children with the same loving kindness that God handles me. I give thanks for my three precious children and I give thanks for the opportunity, no, the privilege to teach them. Home schooling is, in my opinion a blessed privilege. Teaching my children has created a bond with them that I never imagined nor experienced before. I hope that you will find that bond as well through this process.

To have the freedom to teach your own children is such a blessing. You are able to fill them daily with the faith, values and ideals that your family holds dear. You are able to protect them better from bullying and build confidence and strength in them that they cannot receive from anyone else because anyone else is not their mother or father and no other human means more to them than you.

I do want to make note before I get to my tips, that I am in no way against public, charter,  or private schools. I absolutely loved my school days from grade school to college and I really liked my teachers, though, I admit, my high school days had some rougher times. I just want to be clear that I am not against regular schools and I do believe that children can thrive and flourish in them! I just wanted to able to explain to you that there are also so many benefits your children can receive from homeschooling with you.

Now! Let’s get into some tips that can create a happy homeschooling environment.

Affidavit

Before you doing anything, make sure that you file a home school affidavit with your state. All you need to do is Google: Home school Affidavit along with your state’s name and you will find links to direct you to download the affidavit and where to send it.

Understanding State Requirements

I cannot speak about what happens in any other states, I can only say that in the state of Arizona there are no requirements that you need to meet as far as grading or testing during the elementary years. I know that might sound a bit strange, but I have asked that question to dozens of other home school mothers and home school organization Presidents and have been told the same answer.  I have always used the Spectrum test prep series and I also that I found online test preps that I used at the end of the year with my children to make sure they were on track with what the state would be expecting and that they were scoring well. Of course, they will all have to take the SAT’s and there are some excellent online prep classes for this as well which I will discuss later on.

Home School Organizations

During the time of Covid, home school organizations and their activities might look a bit different. However, if you Google for local home school organizations around your area they are still helpful because they offer all kinds of resources for home school families. We are member of AFHE Arizona Families for Homeschool Education and for a $45 a year membership we can receive all kinds of online tutorials, journals, magazines and access to group activities. If you don’t think you will make home schooling a permanent change for your family then you might not want to join an organization, but if you do want to make home-schooling the choice for your family you can really gain a lot of inside and make some beautiful relationships through these groups!

Learning Environment

If it is at all possible, you need to establish an area of your home to be your “classroom”.

If you do not have an entire room to devote to this area do not worry, you just need to be able to have a place where the children can learn, decorate, store their books and supplies that they can call their classroom. Allowing your children to be part of setting up this space will help them not only feel part of creating their “school” but will get them excited about it. Allow them to create a name and perhaps a mascot like the family pet for their new school. Let them choose school colors and come up with an alma mater! This can be great fun for you all to create!

There are, of course, all kinds of classroom posters, wall art, bulletin board decor, etc. to be found on Amazon, or Google, but you can also find local shops in the states online which will be beneficial to you. I was blessed to have a Lakeshore School Supply store up the road from me and that is where we go for many classroom and curriculum needs.

Which brings me to my next subject…

Curriculum

Depending on what state you live, you may find different requirements for different grades. Still, for elementary grades there will be basic topics that are pretty general in all states: reading/comp, writing, spelling, math, science, social studies, humanities studies (art, music, etc.) and history. When I first began teaching, I would look up the requirements for several different states, my home state, a state on the west coast and a state on the east coast to get an idea of the standards across the country. Once I knew all that was out there and the basics that the children needed to know, I decided how I was going to structure my children’s education. Take note! This is just what I personally decided to do. You might have your own ideas or just want to focus upon what the requirements are for your state are. There is nothing wrong with that!

I did some research on many different curriculum varieties that are out there and have experimented here and there, these are some of my favorites for when the children were in their younger days:

Comprehensive Curriculum

Brain Quest

Spectrum

These books held all my children’s attention well with each subject and gave them a strong foundation to build upon for the higher grades to come.

Some of my other favorite curriculum for higher grades have included:

Classical Conversations – for a variety of subjects, but I loved the writing program!

Saxon Math Curriculum

Mission Generation – for history and Biblical worldview

Those are just a few places you might like to review. There are countless other resources that you can find online and I do suggest you take some time to do the research for what will be the best fit for your family.

I was also very blessed to be surround by women who had home schooled their children and had so many varieties of curriculum donated to me. I got TONS of stuff!!! and had a luxury of experimenting with what worked and what didn’t at little or sometimes no cost to me at all. I know that probably won’t be the case for most of you reading this, so I encourage you, take time to pray about it and do your research. You know your children better than anyone else in this world. You know how they learn, what they gravitate toward, what inspires them. I am sure than when you take a look at the vast varieties of curriculum out there, you will know what will work best for your family. Some of the ones I have listed may not work for you. Every family is different, every child is different and may learn differently and that is okay!

Online Resources

While most parents don’t just want to leave their younger ones to learn with just themselves and a computer, still there are many wonderful resources that can be found online or through YouTube which can be extremely beneficial to home school families.

YouTube is full of instructional videos that are so helpful in all subjects. One of my kids’ favorite channels is “Crash Course”, but there are hundreds videos that can be found for any subject from learning proper table manners to science projects, reading games, history lessons and math tutoring. Of course, parents need to go in and preset their laptops and YouTube channels to prevent any inappropriate material from popping up… I say this from experience! It’s amazing what some completely innocent words can bring up without child guards! But I do recommend utilizing YouTube and also GodTube as an excellent resource for home school kids.

There are also some fantastic computer games that we bought for our children and they couldn’t wait to play everyday and learned so much from. These are software programs that would need to be installed on a laptop or home computer.

Brain Play by Scholastic offers a variety of levels of games for reading, math, science and typing. My kids loved the Clifford reading carnival when they were little and learned to read quickly with the help of this fun filled game. I recommend visiting the scholastic website to see if there would be some software which would be a good fit for your family. www.scholastic.com 

We also loved the Leap Frog software games and DVD’s.
leapfrog.com

We also enjoyed software programs from these companies:

Encyclopedia Britannica Children’s Learning Suite
Innovative Knowledge
iLakeshore
The Learning Company (Reader Rabbit and Blue’s ABC Time were favorites here!)
and Hooked on Spanish software

I also want to highly recommend to you Khan Academy. This is a totally free online schooling program that was created, I believe, by the Disney Corporation. They have all kinds of classes and AP classes for high school and they even provide tutorials for college classes.

I was thrilled that my husband found this site because I was not confident to teach my kids their high school algebra and geometry. With Khan Academy you can track your child’s progress and you receive weekly emails to let you know of their accomplishments, weaknesses and strengths per subject.

They also offer some really incredible classes to teach children algebraic equations through the means of computer animation like in their “Pixar in a Box” class and also “Storytelling” in which the project is for the child to design a theme park attraction as if they were really going to build it. They have to calculate speed, timing, persons that can ride, etc. My kids loved this! It was some serious STEM learning in disguise!

Here is the link if you would like to use it! https://www.khanacademy.org/

Public Libraries

I don’t know if all public libraries are fully functioning in your area, but when they are, they are a fantastic place to inspire your children’s learning. Not only can you enjoy checking out books, but you also can use their online computer learning games and some libraries provide the “reading to dogs” program. Ours even had a reading to miniature horses program which the kids LOVED. They also offer reading challenges where children can earn prizes, which you can also do on your own at home!

We often drew out a “thermometer” for each child and then when they read a book, we colored in the thermometer until they reached the top. When they did, they got a special treat like a happy meal from McDonald’s (bleh) or an ice cream from Dairy Queen (yum!).

Libraries also have a fantastic online resource program that you can ask about and be trained on easily. This system can be used for research, personal reading or even videos. Our library often held events for lego clubs and art classes back in the days before Covid, and I am quite sure they will have those again. Many libraries also offer for children to “check out” seed packets. These don’t have to brought back, of course, but it an excellent way for kids to get excited about growing plants at home. This is something my kids love, I have some natural born farmers!

Another excellent program many local libraries provide are “Culture Passes”. Not all libraries methods of providing these passes are the same, but our library allows us to be able to check out two passes at a time to visit certain museums. This helps home school families get the kids out, when they feel safe to do so, and explore the wonderful museums of your state. I always loved taking my children on “field trips” and some of our favorite home school memories have been made during these trips together. I highly recommend you checking into the cultural passes!

In addition to museums be sure to check and see if your state have cultural gardens that you can visit. In Arizona we had the Chinese Cultural center, which was gorgeous and we also have the Japanese Cultural Garden, the Butterfly and the Botanical Gardens. These locations in additions to any farms you can get them to make for excellent field trips and wonderful memories!

Schedule and Structure

Another one of the lovely elements of homeschooling is that you have total control over your schedule and the structure of how your child’s schooling is done.

I will share with you our family’s schedule which is just to provide an example of how freeing homeschooling can be, but it is just an example. You know what is best for your family. You might even set up a schedule and as you go long see the needs for alterations and you have the freedom to make those adjustments to meet the needs of your family!

I would like to explain also that one of the main reasons I began homeschooling was because my daughter, MaCaedyn, was involved in an accident when she was two months old that left her with a sleeping disorder. Thank God that was all she had! Still, her disorder has it’s direct affects upon her and the rest of us in the home. Without going into all the details of her condition, I will just say that I did not know how she would function in regular school. Nor did I know how my other children would function because so many nights when MaCaedyn was young she would wake up the whole household.

This was how we began home schooling, it made sense to try it and I am so thankful that I have been able to do it ever since!

Schedule

Our family gets up probably a little later than most, we have our breakfast, do our chores and the kids have to practice their piano all before we begin school. Usually we start school at 11:00am. Through experience I learned that my children were not at all as focused early in the morning as they were at 11am. Once I started schooling them at this time, I learned that it was a good fit for us. We break for lunch around 2pm and finish around 4:00pm unless the girls need more time for some of their high school math classes, which now as a senior and sophmore, they always do.

These days, I have my kids cook their own lunch and I use that time to read aloud to them from a favorite novel or new novel while they cook and eat. It is very relaxing and helps with their listening skills.

When the children were younger I usually was able to accomplish all their work in a four hour time frame.

In addition to being able to start and end during the days, you also have the freedom to choose when you start and ending your school year.

My family currently lives in Phoenix, Arizona and if you don’t know about the summers in Phoenix they are HOT. Actually, hot doesn’t cut it. How about, sweltering, melting, excruciating, days spent in a/c? You get the picture. Let’s just say it like this, there have been summer Sundays when we were able to cook a tin of brownies on our dashboard while attending the morning church service.

If you are blessed enough to have a pool then you might to elect to keep your kids on the same school schedule that the public schools run on. We don’t have a pool and never have, so I wanted to see what it would be like to home school through the summer while we are stuck inside with the air conditioning where it is cool. We always joked that our kids were vampires during the summer because they only went out to play after sunset!

I start my school year the third week January because our family also has a nonprofit organization for children in need called The Huggabear Children’s Project, Inc. and I have to get all of my Christmas decorations down (which can easily take a week) and close out our contributions reports and send them out to our contributors for their taxes. Once we begin, we go through the summer, taking a little time here and there if we have a trip or special event, but mostly plowing right though until Halloween. The kids know that on October 30th, they are done for a while and we take off November, December and the weeks I need in January.

I can only speak for our family, but I can tell you, this is AMAZING! The weather is fantastic! There are so many things to go and do outside and we can just totally and completely enjoy the entire holiday season without any of the usual stresses of school.

I did learn to change my children’s grades at the end of July, let them have a week off and then come back into their next grade in August so that they would be on the correct grade level for their age. This made it easier when participating in church or sports events etc. where the children are often broken down by their grade.

Again, you will find out what works best for your family. The beauty of homeschooling is that there is no right or wrong way, it is YOUR way! As long as your children are learning what they will need to be able to score well on their SAT’s or other test scores needed for college, you can do what works best for you!

Structure

When setting up your day, try to give the children something they will look forward to. I’m sure you had a certain class that you looked forward to everyday, so try to create something each day that will be exciting for your children.

When my kids were young we had time for our “book work” where we did the reading, writing and arithmetic. But then each day there was something special outside of the usual required book materials like, music, art, science experiments, field trip, building, gardening, or having a video day. Whatever you decide, remember there is no right or wrong way, just allow yourself leeway that if something you try doesn’t work after a while, you can try something new.

This is not something that most teachers in classroom environments can do. If they have a large group, they have to think in mass, but you can think smaller… unless you have a lot of children! Be creative! Think out of the box! You don’t have to conform to what you knew in a classroom at all times. There are times when you need to have some regular classroom structure so that when your child grows up and enters college they are prepared for it, but when they are little, learning should be fun, inspiring and something they are excited to do. You can do that better than anyone else because you know your children better than anyone else!

Another blessing of the structure of how you teach your children is that they can also have the freedom to move at their own pace. All three of my children completely skipped over grades of certain subjects, depending on how quickly they absorbed the material. For example, Samuel is incredible at science and so he is currently doing the high school science curriculum with his sisters. Samuel is in 8th grade, MaCaedyn is currently a sophmore and Aven is a senior. I will keep teaching him other science programs as we go along because he absorbs it so well. You have the freedom to allow your children to do that when homeschooling. They are not structured in the way that they have to move at the same pace as the rest of the class. THEY are the class! So if there is a subject they excel at and want to move passed their age, let them go!

On a side note if, there is some healthy competition in your kids, this might be a benefit to you. My MaCaedyn always wanted to keep up with her sister who was two years older than she was. This was not something I inspired but when I saw how hard she would work like in learning her times tables or in her reading, I let her do it! It inspired both girls to keep working hard and there was no animosity or jealousy that came from it, all was done with good healthy efforts to strive forward!

Physical Education

I know that right now it is a challenging time for kids who want to engage in group sports due to Covid. If your child is unable to participate in a group sport they want to attend, invest in what you can and take them to the park. Buy the baseball bat, ball and glove, or the football or soccer ball and if you don’t know how to play these sports, watch the YouTube videos to learn some of the basic techniques they would learn. This is not just good for the child, it is good for you! You might learn something new and find that you also enjoy it!

There are also excellent YouTube classes for dance, Zumba, martial arts, boxing, or just regular workouts! Take them on bike rides or get some roller blades, buy a corn hole game or Bocce ball! Buy some tennis or racket ball rackets and go to the park! Walmart offers quite a good selection of sporting needs at reasonable prices that will help you.

If you are blessed to have a pool, get on YouTube and study different swim styles and their techniques. We have had volleyball nets and badminton nets along with croquet and golf and enjoyed every minute of it together. When things get better with Covid —and they will get better, you will find that there are so many different activities your children can do which can easily fill the space that they will have while homeschooling. One of our children is a second degree black belt in TKD, another is a first degree black belt in TKD and plays basketball, and the oldest was an Excel level diamond gymnast. Trust me, there are a lot of organized sports that can easily fill the need your children has for physical education outside of being in a school!

Home Skill Learning

Education is not limited to books or online resources. Never underestimate all of the life skills that you can teach your children. Things like, doing the dishes one day, helping you with the laundry one day, sweeping and working outside on the grounds of the home, keeping their room clean are all excellent for home care education. We have always had a chore wheel where the kids would spin to see what chore they would do that day. The chores can increase as the child ages, but it will teach them all how to take care of things in their home presently so they will have a better understanding of how to care for their own home in the future.

Having your children learning how to cook in the kitchen with you is also a wonderful way for them to learn and to develop skills that they will need. For the younger children simple tasks like helping measure ingredients (which teaches fractions) or washing fruits and vegetables, running water in pans, all of these things can be fun for children and will expose them early to the joy of cooking. Who knows? It might reveal any undetected culinary talents they may have!

I also take one child at a time with me when it is grocery shopping day. Well, right now my husband is doing the shopping during the Covid season. Every two weeks I went and we planned it out for the year on the calendar so that we could know whose turn it was. Before we went shopping I had the kids help me take “inventory” of what we had and what we needed and we created a list. I taught them that sometimes there might be a few things here and there that are not on the list but to try and stay disciplined to just the items on the list so they didn’t overspend. I also told them our budget and had them help me keep a tally of the items as we shopped so that we were able to always stay on budget–and I mean always! We do great! These are all important life skills that kids need to know!

Josh also teaches them various skills with car for our cars and other household items so they are learning how to care for the things they will someday own. Speaking of cars, that is a great place for learning! We keep trivia cards of American history in the doors of our vehicles, Brain Quest has some great car trivia games and sometimes on longer trips we would break those out. Listening to audio books, musicals or teaching your children about different genres of music can all be done together in a car and makes your time driving much more fun!

The Blessings of Home Schooling

I know that there are probably many more things I will think of to add this blog after I post it, but I do hope what I have written here will give you some happy tips for creating a happy home school for your children.

I also want to encourage you to Google your state and join whatever home school organization you may like. Even if you don’t attend any of their events, they are always giving out emails and sometimes journal posts that offer excellent ideas and advice.

Just remember that no one knows your children better than you. You know how they learn and what they love to learn. You know their schedules and personalities, their strengths and their weaknesses better than any teacher ever would. You just might find that being your child’s teacher can be a tremendous blessing –not a burden and can develop an even stronger bond with your child than before. I feel that way. I am so thankful for every single day that I have had with my precious babies and I am thankful beyond words that I have had the blessing to educate them. And yes, I still feel that way even though they are all teenagers! TRUE, the teenager is a different creature! But you will find that so much of your child’s innocence will remain longer because it is not being taken away from them by other kids who don’t share the same values as your family.

I will close with this, I have done much research through the years on this topic and have read many different articles about it. Home schooled children grow into adults who will stand strong in their faith. The most recent study I found says that 87% of adults who were home schooled are very strong in their Christian values and beliefs of the Bible.

This is not to cast a shadow upon children who are not home schooled in any way. It is still a very important fact that was significant for me that I wanted to share because of everything that I teach my children every single day, nothing, absolutely nothing is as important as teaching them the Word of God, the power that comes from memorizing and speaking it and also the power of prayer. I get to do that. I get that blessing and I cherish it. That doesn’t mean that my children or home schooled children are better Christians than other children, I don’t make those kinds of comparisons, that is not healthy, just or even true. It is just very important to me that my children have a close personal relationship with Jesus Christ and their Heavenly Father God, Jehovah and that is a responsibility that I want to have. My husband, Josh and I are unified in leading our children down the path of Jesus’s love and it is a blessing that I am able to do every day through homeschooling.

I do hope this blog has brought you a little bit of help and should you have further questions, please don’t hesitate to ask! thehuggabears@gmail.com

May God richly bless, keep and direct you and your family during this time and thank you so much for reading!

 

 

 

 

Covid 19 Pandemic Entry 7 – The Road from Infertility to Motherhood

Reflection. That is something that I have been able to spend a lot more time doing lately. During the Covid 19 Pandemic of 2020 one of the things that I have been so very grateful for is my family. I have a wonderful husband and three amazing children that God blessed us with, Aven, who is currently 17, MaCaedyn, who is currently 15, and Samuel who is currently 13. You might think, “Wow! That must be rough! Being quarantined with three teenagers!” Honestly, it has been a blessing. Though I admit teenagers are an entirely different being of their own, I love being with my children and I try to soak up every moment I can with them while they are with me. I know that on the timeline of life, the days of my children living at home are fleeting and so I am thankful for every day.

This past Mother’s Day 2020 was an interesting one. “Normal” plans of attending church and lunching publicly or with extended family members is not on the agenda due to the quarantine. Still, my crew had all kinds of wonderful plans for me! First, we all slept in, which was lovely. Then, I was showered with hugs, kisses, “I love you’s” and sweet gifts. I get hugs, kisses and “I love you’s” everyday, but on Mother’s Day, Christmas and my birthday, I get extra! Next, my husband packed a fantastic picnic and then, we drove to northern Arizona and spent the day at Christopher Creek. For me, there is nothing better than getting out to God’s great nature with my family. I appreciate all the marvels that humans can build, but there is nothing compared to the beauty of the natural world that God spoke into existence.

Being in nature cleanses me. Whether it be the beach, the mountains and woods, lakeside or hiking a desert trail. I love being outside with my family. But I admit, my favorite places of nature are where I can hear water flowing. I remember my Mema and Papa taking me to different places in the wilderness and whenever we were by a river, stream, or babbling creek, Mema would say, “Listen, it’s singing a little song!”

So there I was, wading through Christopher creek and laughing as Josh would teeter upon an unstable rock he stepped on and yell “Bad rock! Bad rock!” or watching my son Samuel fall into the creek time after time, after time, until he looked more like he had been swimming, and I I began reflecting upon how blessed I am to be a mother.

I am truly a blessed woman to have the family I do and be a mother, I know that and it is something I have never taken for granted. I have reflected upon it thousands of times in the seventeen years that I have been a mama, but this particular Mother’s Day during the pandemic, gave me an even grater perspective on how richly I am blessed.

The road for me to become a mother was not an easy one and that is the story I will tell you.

I have always had a very special love for children in my heart. I was an only child until I was almost ten years old. I remember the day my baby brother was born. It was one of the happiest in my life. I loved helping take care of him and watching him grow up. I remember it so well. His coming into my life lifted the love I already had for other children in my heart to a higher level. I began teaching and directing children’s choirs at my church at the age of twelve and fell in love with the sweet, innocent, sincerity that can only be produced through the vocal chords of a child. I am happy to say I have never stopped teaching and directing children to sing since and I never plan to.

I love children’s curiosities and laughter, to see their eyes sparkle with wonder and excitement and, of course, I personally believe the sound of their giggles are like seeds of healing joy that when heard can plant and grow happiness in even the most sorrowful heart.

I loved having children in my life as a child, as a teen, and as a young adult. They made me feel happy, young and they always gave me the opportunity to be silly, playful and imaginative.

I was twenty-five when Josh and I first got married and he wanted a baby right away. He told me that one of his greatest goals for his life was to be happily married and have children. I love that about him.

We were married in May and it was in the following month of June that I thought I had a miscarriage. I had missed my regular cycle date and then later on there came a day where I had horrible abdominal pain that was different from regular cramps. Sharp, cutting like knives, not dull, heavy and pulling. Though the pain spread through my abdominal area, it seemed to stem from one certain location on my left side. I went to the doctor and she thought that I was having an “early miscarriage”. Since this was different than anything else I had experienced through menstruation, I had no reason not to believe her.

At the time we were sad, but then it also helped us to understand that we were not actually ready for a baby. We were living in a one room apartment and I was working three different jobs while attending college. I was the director of the Arizona Girl’s Choir, the Music Minister of Parkway Community Church, and I had my own voice and piano studio and had over 40 private students. Josh was working and still going to college, so the experience helped us see the reality was it wasn’t time.

We decided to wait. We wanted to travel, buy a house, finish up what we planned to with school and have more financial stability.

We married in 1997 and by 1998 I was working full time at the church, Josh finished his two year degree, and we had bought a four bedroom, two and half bath condo. We had also done some traveling during that time, so we threw caution to the wind and decided to start our family.

After several months I felt something was wrong. I began reflecting over my bodies history remembering how things had been for me before marriage. I had never really had a regular menstrual cycle during my teen years. One of my doctors even had put me on birth control pills to try and regulate me. That didn’t fix the problem either, though it did help my skin through those challenging acne years!

As Josh and I moved along in life together we took steps of faith that someday we would have our own family together. We began creating a nursery. A room of hope where someday we would rock our babies, play with them, dress them, sing to them, cherish them. There were times when I thought I was pregnant as I would skip over a month or so at a time. But I would learn I wasn’t. I remembered that I would sometimes skip months in my teen and premarital years too. Remembering this led me to believe there was something going on.

During this time there were people around us at the church who were getting married and starting their families. We were able to enjoy learning a little bit of what life with a baby was like through them. We were very happy for them and loved all the children we were blessed to be around very much. They were all so precious and beautiful. Those were very blessed days that helped prepare our hearts for our own family. As time went on, I knew we were ready for our own baby. We had the home, had done even more traveling and were financially stable to care for a child. The longing I had to have my own baby was growing deeper within my heart.

I went to my gynecologist and had a conversation about my history. After asking many questions she believed I needed some testing. The first round of testing revealed that I didn’t produce hardly progesterone, only a very tiny bit, but nothing close to what would be considered normal.

That doctor referred me to an infertility doctor who worked with insurance companies. He put me through more tests, tests which not only tested my female organs and their fertility but also my patience and pain tolerance. Tests that leave a person in total and complete humility, which at the time I didn’t realize, but God was using to build great character and strength for our parenting skills in the days to come. Let me just say it like this, and for those women out there who have gone through the testing they will agree with me, you know a woman is really desperate to have a baby to endure it! Infertility testing is not easy–or cheap!

For Josh it was a bit easier, maybe even more enjoyable. 😉
We learned that he was strong (like bull) for his sperm counts. In fact, the day the doctor received his test results she literally opened the door to call her nurses in to see them.
For some reason she thought his name was Johnson and kept saying, “Johnson is Gold!”
I guess an average sperm count for a man is anywhere between 15 million to 200 million.
Johnson aka Josh’s count was over 260 million. Something that still makes him walk tall with pride to this day.

When my test results came in, we learned that I did not have any blocked tubes, but that I did have a common condition among women called PCOS, which stands for Poly-Cystic Ovarian Syndrome.

I have another blog for women with PCOS and symptoms it can cause with weight gain, but for this story I want to focus on the complications it caused me with infertility. In addition to the regular occurrence of cysts being present on the ovaries, PCOS can affect the levels of progesterone produced. Hmm, now we are getting somewhere.

Progesterone is a hormone which helps regulate a woman’s monthly cycles. BINGO! We have a winner! There was one answer to one of my problems! Progesterone also thickens the wall of the uterus for a fertilized egg to implant. If there is no fertilized egg, the progesterone drops. If there is a fertilized egg, the progesterone helps keep the lining of the uterus thick and strong to support the growing fetus.

I guess I should have warned you ahead of time that this would also be like a mini-class in reproduction. Just be glad I’m not taking the time to explain in detail what some of the tests for women are like or involve!

The doctor put me on progesterone supplements and also a prescription called “Clomid”. I can’t get too technical with this because there are things I still didn’t quite understand about it. I do know it was to raise my FSH and LH levels to help me with ovulation to produce more eggs… I believe.

The problem was that in order to take the drug, I had to make sure I didn’t have any cysts of threatening size on my ovaries. Clomid can add cysts on ovaries and it can also cause ovaries to swell. So if ovarian cysts are present, the medication cannot be taken so as not to cause the woman any harm or damage.

Month after month we tried this process and I was now in the third year since beginning my infertility treatments. I was becoming more and more desperate. I was trying my hardest not to covet the beautiful families which were blossoming all around me. In my heart, I wasn’t angry or jealous of the women who were having their own babies, I loved them and I loved their children dearly. It was that my heart was longing deeply to pour love into my own children. My arms longed to embrace my own babies. The nursery that Josh and worked on creating off an on in our home was silent and patiently waiting for the children to come and live there. We both were longing for that day to come.

The doctor knew I was depressed and asked me if I would like to try something new. I agree and he said we could double the amount of Clomid that I was taking.  After taking the meds for a few days I knew something wasn’t right when I could literally point to where my ovaries were located because of the pain they were in. They were on fire and so I stopped taking the medication. I was out of town when this happened so I didn’t get into the doctor. Then one night after I came home from my trip, the result of the double dose of medication hit me. I remember the night it happened vividly. I thought I had food poisoning because I had horrific pain in my abdomen and kept throwing up. One moment I was burning hot, nauseous and vomiting, in the next moment I was shivering violently and cold all over. My husband got me to the hospital and on the way a new pain began. Now, there were stabbing, sharp pains in my shoulders. I had no idea what was happening but knew that it could not be food poisoning.

The doctors at the hospital told me that my ovary had erupted. The double dose of medication either caused a large cyst to form and explode or there was one on the ovary that the doctor didn’t catch in the ultra-sound. Either way, it landed me in emergency surgery to cauterize the ovary. By the time the bleeding was stopped I had bled out over 60% of my body’s blood into my abdomen. It was the blood gases which were building up  in my abdominal region that were causing my shoulders to feel like they were being stabbed. Crazy right?

After all this happened and I was back on my feet, the infertility doctor, whom I will just refer to as Dr. AlmostKilledMe, told me that he wanted to try the medication again…

(crickets)

The exact same treatment which exploded my ovary, he wanted to do again.
Needless to say, I walked out of that office and never went back.

I began searching for new doctors that were covered on my insurance, but for our particular insurance program, the list was slim and the other doctors on the list were not taking new patients at the time. I had to be put on a waiting list.

More waiting. For women who are waiting to have their own child, waiting is depressing.

I kept quoting the scripture during this time, “They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall walk and be weary, they shall run and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31. At the time, I didn’t understand this verse and how the waiting would be good for me, just like another verse where Jesus said in John 13:7 “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.” There is truth in both those verses that I didn’t realize at the time. I would understand on many levels later on what God was doing through this infertility and the patience of waiting that I learned during this time of was the strength of patience that I would use later on as a mother.

It was at this time that my mother decided to take out a loan on a home that she owned free and clear. She wanted to do somethings for herself and my brother, but also wanted me to go to one of the best doctors in the nation. His name is Dr. Jay Nemiro and at the time he was one the of top four infertility doctors in the U.S.

My mother, Bonnie LaFon, graciously and generously gave Josh and I $55K, no strings attached, to go to Dr. Nemiro because he did not work with insurance companies. It was a gift from God and an answer to our prayers.

Although Josh and I had a new awakening to our hope, the gift of the infertility funds didn’t come without challenges. There were some who thought it was completely ridiculous that my mother would do such a thing. Some said she was enabling us to “Go against God” in taking conception and creation into our own hands. Some said, “If it’s God’s will for Josh and Angelique to have a baby, they will without spending $55k.” We had a variety of things spoken to us, mostly by those we loved and cared about which made it all the more painful.

Comments like these from people are all part of the test.
Before Josh and I started the infertility treatments we had dealt with people giving us their advice and opinions on the matter. Sometimes it was put forth gently and with love, but sometimes it wasn’t. Some would say I was “causing my own infertility by stressing out over it.” That we just needed “to relax”, or “have a lot of sex” or “just let nature take its course.”

When you can forgive others for making hurtful comments about a circumstance that you are involved in and they are not, it builds your character. We did forgive all those who made their remarks and did not respond back to them in frustration or anger. The reason why I write about it now is because I want all those who read this blog who are going through infertility treatments to know, if you have heard comments like these or others and just need a shoulder to lean on, you can reach out to me. This is a place of understanding. A safe place where you will not be judged, mocked or ridiculed. But instead a place of prayer and support.

You will hear all kinds of things on this journey, but just listen to God. I fully believe that God gave us doctors and nurses, not to replace Him, but to be His hands extended to help one another. I also believe this was why Jesus asked Luke to be one of His disciples so that we would not be afraid to utilize the help that doctors have to offer. After all, God created the men and women who are the doctors and God is the one who gave them the knowledge they obtained to help us.

If a person had some other ailment and felt led through prayer to go to a doctor to learn more about their condition and possibly help it, that does not mean they do not have faith in God, it means they are using the resources God has given them for help. The danger of a person’s faith being hindered is when they put all their hope and trust in the doctor or science and not in God. A person must always take their situation of their health to the Lord first, and if they feel led to go to a doctor that should not be a judgement upon their faith. Even though I came across a doctor that made a poor decision which led me to a critical life and death moment, I fully believe that doctors and nurses are blessings from the Lord. God is the one who gave them the very special gift and heart they have to serve and help others. Not everyone can do it, that’s for sure. It is a special gift placed in their hearts by the Lord and when they go to work everyday, they are fulfilling the purpose God has for their lives. I felt God was in this 100%. It was His perfect timing and the movement of His hand which made it all possible.

We took the funds my mother gave us and went to see Dr. Nemiro. During our very first visit I learned that there were several tests which had not been conducted on me by other doctors in the past. This was probably because of insurance restrictions, but one of those tests proved to be the main reason I could not get pregnant the good old fashioned way. I had ASA or, Anti-Sperm Antibodies. Basically what that means is that my body produced antibodies that saw sperm as an enemy and would attack and kill them instead of allow them to do their thing.

No matter how many times I had taken the other medication, at that time without a miracle of God which I know was possible, I wouldn’t been able to conceive a baby without the assistance of surgery. So, that’s what we did. We knew that my Fallopian tubes were not blocked and were healthy so we elected to try the ZIFT procedure. ZIFT stands for Zygote Intrafallopian Transfer.

With this procedure, the eggs are extracted surgically from the ovary and fertilized in a dish. Once the eggs are fertilized, they are placed surgically into the Fallopian tube. The theory behind this treatment is that by placing the fertilized egg back into the Fallopian tube so it can travel and find it’s place of implanting on it’s own, it provides the fertilized egg a more natural process.

The first time that we went to extract the eggs all went well and we ended up with 2 fertilized eggs to place into the Fallopian tube. Before and after the surgery, I spent much time in prayer and I knew that it did not work. We grieved the loss of those two fertilized eggs and after some rest physically and mentally, I was ready to try again.

I will never forget the second day I went to have the eggs extracted… or should I say eggstracted. 🙂

The anesthesiologist did not show up.

I had the choice. Go ahead and do the procedure with a little bit of “twilight” meds which would not knock me out, just maybe take the edge off, or I could miss the chance at extracting the eggs and wait another month which meant going through all the medications and treatments to prepare for the extraction again.

My longing heart chose to go forward with the procedure and I can tell you I felt and remember it all. Even as I write this, I can remember the pain of it.
First, they clean you with a pretty decent sized sponge. They do this on the outside… and on the inside. That seriously was torture. Next, came the nice, long, sharp instrument that went up inside, punctured through the wall of the uterus and then into the ovary to extract the eggs. This was done on both sides. Nice huh?

The whole time I just kept thinking about the baby or babies that I would hold and love. The joy they would bring and the fulfillment I would finally feel as a mommy.

Once the procedure was completed, we learned we had 5 fertilized eggs to transfer, and this time after praying, I knew it had worked.  I felt different. I felt the surge of hormones in my body and I felt a spring of joy well up in my soul.

When we got the official word that THIS test was positive, we celebrated like we have never celebrated. All our friends and loved ones were so happy for our success and were rejoicing with us. Everyday felt like Christmas morning. I felt wonderful. Such happiness. I had no pain, no sickness, nothing but complete and total joy, joy, JOY!

I remember sharing this once with a woman who was pregnant and having a terrible time with illness. I felt so badly for her. She asked if I ever had experienced illness during pregnancy and I explained that I had not and that I attributed it to the incredible, constant oil of joy that the Lord had anointed me with. She rolled her eyes, laughed and mocked me, “Experiencing illness during pregnancy has nothing to do with how happy you are.”

Maybe for some, but not for me. I knew not ever experiencing illness during pregnancy was God’s way of blessing me for all the other pain and suffering that I had endured. The Bible tells us in Neh. 8:10 “The JOY of the Lord is our STRENGTH!” And it was the great joy of the Lord that filled my heart and soul!

My dream had come true and I knew that God was the one who made that happen!! God spared my life from the first doctor’s treatment. God brought the gift of the funds to my mother and placed it in her heart to give it to us. God led us to find Dr. Nemiro and God made it possible for me to see him right away and not be placed on a waiting list. God revealed through Dr. Nemiro what my problem was and God was the one who created the incredibly amazing baby that we were going to have. Absolutely, positively everything that happened to us, the lessons we learned, the strength which was built inside us, the compassion we gained for others going through this, God used to work for our goodness and I give God the glory for it all!  I rejoiced in the coming of our baby through praise to my mighty, compassionate and giving God. Josh and I were finally going to have our own child and nothing that happened around us or even to us was able to penetrate that joy!!

There was never a moment, not in all these years, when I have not been totally and completely grateful for God answering my prayer in the way I had hoped. I would have loved to adopt a baby, I just had it in my heart to strive for my own and felt led to pursue it. I know several women who spent many years striving to have a biological child, but God had another plan for them. Some adopted beautiful, precious children who God knew needed them as their mother and they are totally and completely their children. I remember a beautiful song I once heard Marie Osmond sing called “From God’s Arms, to Your Arms, to Mine.” I firmly believe that people who open their hearts to adopt or foster children are examples of unconditional love and acceptance that whole world can learn from.

Then there are some I know who decided to just have furry babies in their lives and they do a great work caring for unloved animals in the world that God told us to care for. I know all these women to be very happy and consider them to be pillars of strength who looked upon God’s answer and choose to embrace it. I do not know them to be bitter or envious. They are very happy and consider themselves richly blessed. I must also give my public thanks to some of these women who walked down the road of infertility with me, especially one in particular named Becky Merryman. The Lord sent her as my own personal infertility angel and, Becky, I am forever thankful for the help, education, support and encouragement you poured into my life during that time. God knew I needed you because you understood what I was going through like no one else. I only hope that I can be for someone else what you once were for me.

I was almost at the end of my first trimester when I got up for my second trip one night to the bathroom. It was then I felt it. The ovary erupted again. Within seconds I was feeling the same pain that I had felt just over a year ago when it happened the first time.

I woke Josh and he got me to the hospital. This time, I asked him to take me to a different hospital. After the ovary had erupted the first time I was sent to Good Samaritan in Phoenix. They did help me by cauterizing the erupted ovary, but then sent me home with a blood hemoglobin count of 6. For those who might not know what that means, a healthy blood hemoglobin count is between 13.5 to 17.5 and for women it is from 12 to 15.5. Needless to say, I crashed and crashed hard. I had to be hospitalized a few days later and receive two more blood transfusions to go along with the first one I had after surgery.

This time I asked to go to St. Lukes Hospital. Big mistake. If I had gone back to Good Sam they would at least have had my records on file for having an erupted ovary the first time and they would have believed me. Instead, St. Luke’s decided not to believe me and just pumped me up with Demerol and morphine. They kept me in the emergency room for seven hours and did nothing but an ultra-sound. When the results from the ultra-sound came back we learned I was pregnant with twins… but for how long? The doctor told Josh, “We see there is some fluid in her abdominal area but we are just going to give her pain meds and send her home.”

Now, keep in mind, I’m pretty crocked from all the meds they were giving me, I am in unbelievable pain, pain that I never knew existed, and every few minutes I am hot and throwing up or freezing cold and shivering. This time the pain is not just in my abdominal area and shoulders like before, this time it is also all over my back. I can’t even lie down and different ones are taking turns holding me up. I remember my uncle holding my back in an upright position and then holding my head up in the front because I lacked the strength to do this on my own.

I knew I was dying. I literally could feel my life drifting out of me. I looked at Josh and with as much cohesiveness as I could muster I said, “I am dying. Please get me some help.”

Josh called Dr. Nemiro who did not hesitate for a moment but had me transferred by ambulance to Scottsdale Shea Hospital where I was taken into emergency surgery. Once inside we learned that the ovary had erupted again, as I knew, and had bled into itself so much the ovary was the size of a Nerf Football. Normally, an ovary is the size of a thumb, so this was significantly bigger, yet no one at St. Luke’s hospital did anything at all to try and help me.

Normally, when I write something I don’t like to call people out for their mistakes and if it is important to the story, I don’t name names. This situation was about life and death and boy did I come close to death. We also had to pay a significant amount of money because Dr. Nemiro did not work with insurance companies. So his fees were out of pocket. It was all a mess... but Jesus was with us.

Dr. Nemiro tried to perform laparoscopy surgery but I had too much blood in my abdomen to see anything. They had to cut me like a cesarean, all the while they had a scope to monitor the babies’ heartbeats. One baby kept struggling. Dr. Nemiro said it’s heart beat kept stopping during the procedure. Once again, I had lost over 60% of my bodies blood and my ovary had to be removed. We were told after it all was over and done with that 20 more minutes and I would have gone into irreversible shock.

I have to take a moment and just process that… twenty more minutes. That was it. Seven hours I was kept in an ER room and had Josh listened to the doctors there and just taken me home, I… we, the babies and I would have died. Thank You Jesus for being with us and for Josh’s obedience to act when he did.

After the surgery I had to have ultrasounds every other day to check on the babies. After about two weeks we did lose one of them. I knew it before the ultra-sound technician said it but I didn’t want to speak it out loud. After having as many ultrasounds as I had, I grew pretty good at identifying everything.

We went home that day and grieved the loss of our little one. I wondered if I had done too much too soon and contributed to it’s death, but the doctor reassured me I had not. It was just not strong enough to endure all that we had been through together.

For the next two weeks I still had to have ultrasounds every other day to monitor the other baby and see if she would live. Of course, at the time we didn’t know it was a she, but she did live. She was strong– and she still is… incredibly strong in will, spirit and body. God made her that way so that she would survive with me. I praise God for her life and I know that someday, we will see her twin, whom we named Skylar Reagan, in the glories of heaven.

After I healed from the surgery, the rest of my pregnancy went back to being just as perfect as it was before the ovary episode. Our sweet little baby made it and on March 3, 2005 our first baby, Aven Salei La Fon-Cox was born. It was  of the happiest days of my life. Josh and I cherished every single moment of being parents and having Aven in our lives was all that we had hoped and dreamed for and so much more!

Aven was a month premature I might add, but very healthy and beautiful. She was a footling breech baby and danced her way out. I remember every time I went in for an ultrasound they said, “She’s doing great, she looks healthy and normal, but her legs are measuring almost two weeks ahead of schedule.” Ha! That’s because she’s got her daddies long legs! I went back to work two weeks after having Aven do direct an Easter Musical production. Aven was brought into this world through cesarean and although I still had an incredible amount of healing that needed to take place, I felt nothing but the JOY of the Lord!

Although I loved the work that I was doing for the Lord at the time serving as Music Minister and Administrative Assistant, I was beginning to grieve my time away from Aven. I didn’t want to leave her everyday. I wanted to be with her every moment that I could. It was also hard for me to leave her because she had something called “torticollis” which involves the muscles of the neck. Because Aven was in the footling or standing breech position for so long, her head was pressed up into my diaphragm. This kept her neck in a bent position and caused her to have not only a weak, crooked neck, but her little face was also crooked. Something that straightened out as she grew and nothing that hindered her beauty! But she would choke easily and often. The doctors we saw gave us instructions on how to care for her which involved constant attention. Even when she was sleeping, for the first six months while she went through therapy, we had to allow her to sleep upright in a vertical position either propped up or held on our chest because she choked so easily when asleep. The doctors also were concerned about her being in a day care where workers caring for many children might not notice right away if she were choking.

All of this just made me want more and more to be a stay at home mama and not work outside of the home. The joy of being a mother was the greatest experience of my life and I didn’t want anything coming between me and the precious and fleeting time with my baby.

There were so many wonderful changes that came to my life from being a mother and I embraced them all. I became very thankful for my infertility treatment because I knew it had prepared me for being a mother. And then, God revealed something else to me which was incredibly significant and took me back to the scripture of John 13:7 when Jesus said, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”  A moment had come for Jesus to reveal to me something which helped give me great understanding my infertility. I can’t remember the exact date I learned this, but sometime after Aven was born I remember Josh had a strange memory come to him. Something that he had forgotten about for years but suddenly remembered. He said that he had been told a story about me by one of his family members. It was told to him many years ago back when he was a kid and I was a very young adult, maybe still a teen myself. The rumor was that I had an abortion.

When I first heard this it took me a moment to process. Did I hear that right? That I had an abortion??? Me? A person who has loved, taught and worked with children for the majority of my life? Are you kidding?? Once I had a hold of the information an explosion of feelings shot through my mind, body and spirit. Pain, anger, confusion, bewilderment all went roaring through me. Why on earth would someone say something so cruel about me?

At first, I couldn’t understand it and I wasn’t angry that he told me or that he had been told by one of his family members. I honestly felt that God put that information to his family so that I could learn it. I had never heard it before, not from anyone. Who told it didn’t really matter. What mattered was it wasn’t true. I was never pregnant before I was pregnant with Aven. Not even in the times I thought I was or thought I had a miscarriage when Josh and I were first married. Dr. Nemiro explained that when a cyst on an ovary erupts, it can cause pain and bleeding, and so sometimes the symptoms can be mistaken for early miscarriages, especially if a monthly cycle had been skipped.

I don’t believe that God placed infertility upon me anymore than I would believe God placing illness on someone else. That is not how God works. He doesn’t punish us, Jesus took all the punishment needed for sin and GIVES us healing! Our troubles come from our enemy who seeks to destroy us in every way possible. We live in the world where sadly bad things often happen. I believe that God works through those circumstances to help us, teach us, mold and shape us, to bring us into a closer relationship with Him and to bring something beautiful from the ashes. Just like it is written in Romans 8:28 “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” After spending time in prayer about this painful rumor, the Holy Spirit began to speak to my heart. I began to see how God used the circumstances of my infertility to prove that rumor to be false. I don’t know how many people heard and repeated it but for those who heard the story of my infertility it should bring up some important questions. How could a woman who could not conceive a child without the help of extreme tests, shots, medications, and surgeries to get pregnant, spending over the $55k given for treatment possibly have had an abortion? The answer… she couldn’t. The truth is… I didn’t.

I prayed and thanked God for revealing to me the story. I did not know of it until Josh spoke it and I thought, how amazing that of all the people in the world, the man who would one day be my husband and father of my children heard it. Why? So he could let me know that it was out there and so that I could find more understanding about my road of infertility.

Now,  in a world where abortions are common and in some places even celebrated into legislature, there may be some reading this who may wonder why is it important that I learned such a story was out there about myself and why it would bother me so much. I can answer that with three words:  my children’s ministry. My life’s work is in serving and protecting children. This is part of God’s plan for my life and He knew that story could rise up and come against me in the future if it kept going. Again, and always, God was and is with me, working for my good. Even when I didn’t see it, even when I didn’t understand. He was there. Now, I do see it and I do understand and I am so thankful for everything I went through because it not only killed out that wicked story, it also transformed me into the mother and child advocate that I am today. The only thing I wish could have been different is that Josh and I could have paid for the treatments and my mother could have kept all that money for herself. Other than that, I know every circumstance taught me something I needed to learn and brought me closer to God, and I would never trade that for anything. I also feel it is important to say that I personally do not cast judgement on anyone woman out there who has had an abortion and

Never was I pregnant before Aven, and never have I had an abortion. I love children dearly and have devoted my life to serving, protecting, providing for, caring for, educating and hoping to make them happy. I firmly believe that outside of the grace and salvation of Jesus Christ, our children are the greatest gifts our Heavenly Father God can bestow upon our lives.

I have learned that God does work in mysterious ways and I could see how my journey through infertility would not only help me become more compassionate and understanding of others who walk that road, it would make me so grateful for every moment I got to be a mother and also set my name and reputation of serving children free from any wickedness that was spoken to try and destroy it. God can use anything, including infertility for something good.

Fast forward about eighteen months after Aven was born and I started feeling strange. I told Josh, “You know, if I didn’t know better, I would think I was pregnant.” But of course, in our minds that was impossible, right? I had all these things wrong with me, I couldn’t possibly get pregnant without surgery and medication. But…

With God ALL things are possible.” Matthew 19:26

I was right, I was pregnant. God blessed us richly by healing me so that I could conceive a baby the good old fashioned way, which is so much more fun than infertility treatments. 😉  And FREE!

I learned the wonderful news of our new precious baby the week of Thanksgiving 2004 and oh my goodness we were beyond grateful! When I learned that I was pregnant with another precious child, I resigned from my job. I wanted to be home and not miss a moment.

(I began writing this blog after Mother’s Day in May 2020 and worked on it off and on. Today is June 17, 2020 one of the happiest days of my life!)

On June 17, 2005 Josh and I were blessed yet again with our beautiful, sweet, loving MaCaedyn Janei La Fon-Cox whom we loving call our Kooshla bear. I was in baby heaven and was never happier. After two months, MaCaedyn was involved in a crazy accident which is another blog for another time, but again, and always, God was with us and protected her life.

Aven loved being a “Big Sissy” and always wanted to hold and take of “her baby”.
We were so in love with these two precious girls and thought we were richly blessed when God decided to pour out even more blessings upon us. MaCaedyn is a beautiful child, not just on the outside but also on the inside. She gifted musically and has a tenderness, love and compassion that runs deep within her. She works with me constantly for our family’s organization for children in need, The Huggabear Children’s Project, Inc. and I see her working in ministry with children with me for many years to come.

Eighteen months after I had MaCaedyn, even though we were using birth control, I got pregnant again!!! This time with our beautiful boy, our “brother bear”, Samuel Braeden La Fon-Cox. He was an early Christmas gift for me coming into the world on December 12, 2006. I know I am partial, but he seriously was one of the most beautiful baby boys this world has even seen and he is growing into a beautiful young man. The girls are definitely going to be swooning in the years ahead!

The joy of being able to have my own children is something I honestly didn’t know I would ever experience. I asked God and He answered me. The joy that these three children have brought into Josh and I’s lives is absolutely irreplaceable, priceless and constant. I know that my life would never be as full and rich if I didn’t have them. Yes, they are all three firecrackers, we don’t have an easy one in the bunch. But I know God has a plan for all of them.

This past Mother’s Day and today with MaCaedyn’s birthday, I reflected upon all these things more than I usually do. This is a strange time for the world. The Covid19 Pandemic has changed things greatly, some for the good and some for the worse. But for me, these days with my family being so cozily secluded in our home have been priceless and precious. I know that there are so many others out there in the world who are not as blessed as we are. Many are alone, many are with empty nests and cannot have their children or grandchildren with them. Many have lost loved ones due to this crazy killing Covid. So I am extra thankful and know I am extra blessed.

God is so good to me. I could thank Him every minute of the rest of my life and it still wouldn’t be enough for all that He has done for me. So, I write my stories and share them with others who might need encouragement.

If you don’t have a relationship with Jesus or our Heavenly Father God, Jehovah and would like to learn more about them, please never hesitate to contact me. My personal email is thehuggabears@gmail.com

I always want to talk about Jesus and the goodness of God and will be happy to help you.
If you are walking on the road of infertility and just need a safe place to talk, I am here for that too.

Always remember that Jesus loves you, no matter what and He told us in John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world!”

Jesus knew we would have trouble in this world, that’s why He promised to never leave us. In closing I just want to say a prayer of thanks…

Thank You Father God for answering my prayer to make me a mother.
Thank You, Father God, for giving me the father for my children that You have and
Thank You, thank You, THANK YOU for the children that you blessed me with!
I love them with all my heart and soul and will always be so grateful that You made me
a mother!

Amen!

Covid19 Pandemic – Entry 6 “Thank God for Chris Wood”

My name is Angelique La Fon-Cox and today is April 26, 2020. Right now our world is in a quarantine due to the Covid19 Pandemic. It is a time of suffering for thousands all over the planet, but today, my husband, Josh, and I have a reason to be joyful.

Today was our friend, Chris Wood’s birthday. He would have been 53 years old today. As I write that number it is hard for me to fathom that so many years have passed since he left us.

I am thankful to have had Chris as a friend, as I know hundred of others are as well. He was a special guy. He had a great gift of joy and was always wanting to make you laugh. The boy could dress and had style, but everyone knew his greatest gift was music. His voice was powerful and anointed and he could play a bass guitar with the best of them. I loved how he chose to always use his gifts for music for glorifying the Lord, perhaps with the exception of the original song he wrote “There’ll Be No Beans Up in Heaven”.  I’m just kidding, that one was Classic Chris.

I first met Chris when I graduated from my elementary Sunday School class to the Jr. High/High School Sunday School class at the 44th Street Church of God. I was really nervous my first day there. Most of my church friends were younger than me. But by the end of the class, Chris had me giggling and made me feel like I was part of the group.

From that time on we were friends. We sang together, hung out with mutual friends together, traveled together, ate out, saw movies, shopped, and always laughed our heads off.

I can’t quite remember how old he was when he became ill. He had been traveling with a family Gospel singing group The Brashears and had to come home from being on tour.

After much time of extensive testing, pain and suffering, he finally had the diagnoses of
Myelodysplastic Syndrome, which is a pre-leukemia condition. His brother, Scott, was a perfect match for bone marrow donation and they went through the process four times to try and help Chris get well. Chris’ condition continued to deteriorate. His skin became tight and hard, he had to walk with a walker, he lost so much weight that he looked thin and frail. These were just the symptoms would could see, although he wouldn’t share it publicly, his pain was great.

Yet, though it all. Chris’s spirit was strong and his desire to sing, play his bass, and use his talent for the glorification of the Lord only grew stronger.

It was during this time that he was having trouble sleeping and since I am a night owl by nature, I had no problem in staying up til 2am most nights to be there for him to talk to when he couldn’t rest.

I tried not to call him because I knew he needed the rest, but I have to admit, when I heard the phone ring around midnight, it made me happy. I loved our talks.

There were some things that had been going on in my life during this time that I had not shared with Chris. Another mutual friend of ours, Josh Cox, who was also good friends with my brother, Nathan, was at my house on a weekly basis. Actually, once Josh got his truck, he quite often spent weekends at our house. He would come over Friday night, watch movies or play video games with my brother and another mutual church friend, Brandon Cecil, who lived on our street. On Saturday they would all play basketball or go hang out, then Sunday they would all go to church and after that Josh would go home.

This had been going on for quite a while. It hadn’t bothered me in anyway, our home had always been a popular place for friends and cousins to hang out, but things were changing. Josh was interacting more with me and I was seeing a new side of him I hadn’t seen before.

At this time I was a full time college student, I was working between my private voice/piano music studio at home and working as the music director of our church among other small jobs I kept. Josh had asked if I had a spot for him to take piano lessons. I did and so we had been spending time weekly together as I taught him how to play.

It was during this time that I began seeing something new in Josh that I hadn’t seen before. Yes, he was an attractive young man on the outside, but it was his heart that I began to see on the inside that changed how I felt about him. Although what I was seeing in Josh were good and beautiful,  I was struggling with how I was feeling about him because… I was started to like him… you know like him like him.

Now let me help you understand the struggles I was having.

First of all, he was six years younger than I was. I was twenty-five and Josh was nineteen.

Nineteen.

I remember the first day I met him. I was seven and he was a year old baby.

BABY.

As we grew up  together in the same church there were actually times when I taught Josh. Once, I was a helper in his Sunday School class and before I was the music director, I was the teen drama group director of which Josh was  a member.

Then there was the fact that he was close friends with my brother who is almost ten years younger than I am. Josh, my brother, and Brandon were always together and had grown up together in the same church and youth group. The same church that I was now the music director of… do you see my struggle here?

Then on top of all that, Josh and I were asked to be in Chris’ brother’s wedding. Some of the wedding party were taking ballroom dance classes together and because I had already been studying ballroom dance for school, Josh and I also started taking classes together.

So there is even more time being spent together, but now, instead of me sitting in a chair next to him on a piano bench, he is holding me in his arms.

Swoon! Yes, the word is swoon. Josh made me swoon.

Now, back to Chris. Our talks at night had been wonderful. We had talked about how good God is, old times together and new dreams, SNL skits, struggles and challenges, girls he had crushes on then… he asks me about my current love life.

I was quiet. I really had nothing to say because I wasn’t seeing anyone, but instead of saying that I said nothing.

I should have been prepared with something quick to say because Chris paid attention well and when I paused and didn’t answer he knew something was up.

After about a thirty minutes of him coaxing me to tell him who I was now interested in, I finally decided to suck it up and deal with the consequences. I told him that I was a cradle robbing, almost cougar-like lady who was crushing on my little brother’s buddy, Josh, who was almost like my younger brother that I had known since he wore diapers. Diapers.

But Chris didn’t freak out… not badly anyway. Much to my surprise he freaked out in a good way! He was thrilled and told me, “No! Don’t think like that! This is great! You and Josh would be perfect together!”

I was stunned. I couldn’t believe it. Really? Me liking Josh wasn’t something weird?
It was a good thing?

Chris spent the rest of that night and almost every night after that building my confidence that Josh and I would make a great couple. He had formed a friendship many years previously with Josh and knew him pretty well. He too had seen the “diamond in the rough” that was Josh and because he knew us both so well, he just kept filling me with reasons why it was a good thing and why it would work.

These talks with Chris only made me start liking Josh more and I was really enjoying just liking him secretly with only Chris knowing about it until… April 26, 1997.
It was Chris’ 31st birthday.

I had him a gift and called to sing to him and ask if he would be at church the next day but he said he didn’t think so. He wasn’t doing well. I was very sad to hear it and since Nathan and Josh were in the living room watching tv and laughing, I went in my room to talk to him quietly.

He asked me, “I hear Josh in the background. Is he staying the night?”

“Yeah, that’s usually the Saturday night plan,” I replied with a laugh.

Chris then told me that while he was touched that I got him a birthday gift, there was only one thing that he wanted for his birthday, “I want you to tell Josh that you like him.”

My eyes bugged out of my head, my heart started racing and I stopped breathing,
“I CANNOT do that! NO WAY! You’re crazy!”

He chuckled but calmly said, “I really want you to do this. You and Josh should be together and I want to know that I had something to do with bringing you two together.”

I then began my long list of why I couldn’t tell Josh my feelings, when he gently interrupted me.

“Ang, I’m serious. I think this will be my last birthday and this is what I want you to do for me.”

I can’t quite describe the emotions that flooded over me after hearing him say those words. There was sadness to know he was suffering so much and in so much pain that he couldn’t see life continuing. Then there was fear. First, the fear of losing him. Fear for his family who adored him to be without him and for the rest of us too. I was completely afraid of not having him in my life. I couldn’t imagine it.

Then there was the fear of telling Josh.

I sighed, “Chris, please don’t say that.”

“I know it isn’t something you want to hear, but I really think it is the truth,” he said.

“I just… I don’t know how to tell him. I have no idea how to begin or conduct that conversation,” I said.

He then began to give me advice on things I could say to Josh, of which I noted and of course, he added his mischievous humor to the ideas which then lightened things back up– but only a little.

“You’re a big meany,” I said, “I can’t believe you went there just to get me to tell Josh how I feel about him.”

He said, “I know, but you wouldn’t have me any other way. I just really know that you and Josh need to be together and I really want to be part of this while I can. I need you to promise me that you will do this for me for my birthday.”

“Okay,” I said softly, “I promise.”

That night, after everyone else was asleep, I told Josh that I liked him.

That conversation and how we got married are a blog for another time. But this blog is about Chris.

Twenty-three years ago today, on a Sunday like today, I had this conversation with my best friend. A friend I loved with all my heart. A friend I still love and miss today. A friend who gave me one of the best gifts I have ever received in my life, he brought me together with My Love, my husband, Josh. I am the one who got the gift and it was on Chris’ birthday.

Chris was thrilled that I told Josh my feelings and even more thrilled when we married!! I give all the credit to Chris for being obedient to share what God showed him about Josh and I being together and for being so persistent for me to share my feelings with Josh. He truly did bring us together.

So here we are twenty-three years later right smack dab in the middle of a Covid19 Pandemic and we are celebrating and not just celebrating that we have been together for twenty three amazing years, but celebrating the blessing that we were able to be friends with an amazing guy named Chris Wood.

Happy birthday in heaven Chris! You left us far too soon. We love and miss you always!!!

 

Covid19 Pandemic – Entry 5 “The Soldiers of World War C”

World War C has begun. It is a war between Covid19 and citizens of the world.

The virus has no racism, prejudices, or preferences. If you are alive, that’s reason enough for it to attack you.

Those who are on “The Front” are not soldiers of the Army or Marines, they are not sailors in the Navy or the Coast Guard, and they are not pilots in the Air Force.

They do not carry rifles, they carry stethoscopes and thermometers.
They do not defend with tanks, but with ventilators.

They cannot order an airstrike before they send in boots on the ground, because they cannot see their foe.

These soldiers do not wear helmets or armor. They wear “P.P.E.”, masks, rubber gloves, and protective robes–and there is not enough of what they need. Still, united together and standing strong, they gather the defenses they have and engage in battle.

They have no refuge, no bunkers, no forts. There is no place they can retreat because their enemy is everywhere all over the world. For these soldiers there is no rest, there is no pause, and at present it seems as if there is no end. The battles rage on every minute, every hour, every day on a global scale.

The attack of the enemy crept in slowly at first. Many didn’t believe it was real… some still don’t. But these soldiers, even though they are afraid and even when they know they are outnumbered, have boldly answered the call for help and have stepped forward in courage to the front as their enemy spreads like wildfire.

Acting while scared displays the greatest form of courage. These soldiers are all the best of us, willingly putting their own lives at risk and displaying through their diligence the very definitions of bravery, compassion, and giving.

Right before our eyes “World War C” against Covid 19 is taking place. It is a new type of war, and a new type of soldier who says, “I am here to help you.” These soldiers don’t stop fighting because our enemy is invisible and constantly attacking, showing no mercy to any it encounters.

Covid 19 has been called “The Great Equalizer” taking old and young, rich and poor,
weak and strong, in people of every nation, of every race, of every faith and gender. All are prey to its destruction.

This enemy does not sleep. It does not stop. It shows no mercy and seeks to devour all that it encounters. But these soldiers will not quit. They know there is no military leave during this war, and they know the troop numbers are limited.

These soldiers are fighting the good fight with what resources of weaponry they have…
but the demand is greater than the supply and the weapons of warfare are scarce.

Though these soldiers are constantly calling for reinforcements for their kind of ammunition, production is gradual and some cannot be rushed.  Every weapon of defense must be created and tested with perfect functionality. There is no margin for error. All weapons must suffice the needs of the soldiers or else the fatalities will continue to increase.

As they days pass by and the numbers of those attacked by the enemy rise, it seems as if these soldiers will never see an end to World War C. I am quite sure they all feel totally overwhelmed, exhausted and scared.

They need our help.

Our doctors, nurses, first-responders, medical workers, care givers, hospital staff, all those who are facing the deadly Covid19 virus have been transformed overnight into soldiers and they are all facing it with courage, compassion, intelligence, creativity and excellence.

Every night after I tuck my kids in bed, yes, I am tucking in my teenagers with hugs and kisses on the head, I think of how blessed we are to be living in a place that is safe and peaceful. Yet, as I lay my head down to rest, all I can think about are these amazing soldiers on the front and what battles of hell they are constantly engaging in while the rest of us sleep.

So what I can I do to help them?

I don’t have funds to send.
I don’t have the medical equipment they need nor can I produce any.
I don’t have any knowledge that I can pass along to anyone trying to find a cure.
I don’t have the ability protect them.
I don’t have the means to give them any professional or sufficient hands on assistance.

So what can I do?

The best that I can do is stay home and pray.

I have a relationship and a direct line to the throne room of an incredible, powerful, loving, giving God who is still on His throne.

I have had dozens of personal miracles from my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! His power has not changed.

I can go to the Bible, the Word of God, the truth of God, and I can read the scriptures aloud, calling out for help.

I can read them out to Jehovah Jireh, our provider, Philippians 4:19 “And my God will supply every need of yours according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”, to provide all the needs of these soldiers.

Jehovah Shammah, God with us, and know, without doubt that He will fulfill His promises. Genesis 28:15 “I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go.”

There is power in prayer and those of us who understand that, and know how to boldly enter into the throne room of God, need to be calling out day, night and the minutes in between (1 Thessalonians 5:17 “Pray without Ceasing”) for these soldiers, these incredible, amazing, courageous doctors, nurses and care givers. John 15:7 “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you.”

We can intercede for them everyday and take their requests to Yahweh, our Mighty God.
We can ask the Holy Spirit to bring them strength, wisdom, and peace that passes all understanding.

Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10 “Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

Philippians 4:7 “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

We can pray and ask the Lord Jesus to pour out His power of healing that He gave us through the stripes He bore upon His back.

Isaiah 53:5 “But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.”

Prayer and staying home are the best we can do to help these troops as they battle
World War C.

Intercessors. Prayer warriors. They need us. Let’s not fail them.